Taking My Leave of Absence

To the LBC family,

I know that many of you maybe were not at church this past Sunday to hear me share but I am going to explain what I will be doing with my requested leave of absence. These past two years have been incredibly difficult with various issues that we have had to address here at the church. In the summer of 2006, I took what was supposed to be a two month sabbatical and apart from about a couple of weeks and Sundays, I was still immersed in my work as there were some significant challenges that we were dealing with at the time so I really did not get a chance to utilize that time in the way I had hoped. Since then, things have steadily become more challenging and with the trauma of what took place at the end of last year, my physical condition started to deteriorate. This year proved to have no letdown in the stresses that we have been facing within the leadership and it all finally came to an apex a couple of weekends ago when I realized that I could not sustain my responsibilities with my physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual state being broken down as much as it was. So it was with great difficulty that I have had to come to the conclusion that as much as I love the church, I am not indispensible and that I have to trust God with the people of the church whom I love deeply. It is with much reluctance that I step back because I truly love ministering to people and at least for those who really know me, they know that I really care for people. I have been accused of caring too much - I really don't know how one can care too much. I believe people care too little because they are so preoccupied with themselves that they only care about how they are cared for and not so much how they should care for others. That's why it is no surprise to me that we have as many relational conflicts as we do in the church. The selfishness and self-centeredness that grips so many people truly reflects a "life is all about me" kind of attitude and the stranglehold it has is very difficult to break. But as we have shared so many times at Lighthouse, "life is not about you" and we need to really carry that out.

So what will I be doing during my leave? I'm not sure yet how long it will be but there are several things that I must do:

1. Address my various health problems. To make a short list, I have to followup with the defective heart valve and find out what is causing my chest pains. I will be visiting a cardiologist to see how things go with that. I have to visit a gastro-enterologist to see what is causing the spasms in my esophagus and stomach. I have to visit an ophthomologist for possible glaucoma as my eyesight continues to worsen. I have to visit a dermatologist to address various skin issues that have been causing me much discomfort over the past year. I also have to go through some physical therapy and/or chiropractics to address all the aches and pains I have all over my body. My blood pressure has been consistently very high over the past year so I will have to start taking medications and monitor the response. I will also have probably do a sleep study to see why I am unable to sleep well. I will also have to address some problems with my jaw as I will be wearing some devices 24 hours a day so as to confront some muscular problems that have been causing me constant pain. It will prohibit me from speaking much so I will not be able to do a whole lot in terms of preaching or teaching.
Hopefully that's all, at least what I can remember.

2. Let go of all ministry responsibilities. This will probable be the most difficult thing to do but I will be relinquishing all pastoral responsibilities during my leave. That means I will not preach, lead, plan, counsel, disciple, or in any other formal way carry out my pastoral role at Lighthouse. I will have to entrust the elders and pastoral staff to shoulder the load and do their best to carry on what needs to happen at the church. You will need to pray for the pastoral staff and elders extra diligently so that they might have strength and wisdom to carry the extra load.

3. Get rest. I hope to get physical, mental, and spiritual rest by spending extended time in getting sleep, exercise, and personal times in God's Word and prayer without the pressure of pastoral responsibilities weighing on my shoulders. I also hope to take some time to attend a couple of conferences for my own personal edification.

4. Spend time with my wife and children. While I do my best to care for my family, it is obvious that they have to share me with the church family in many ways that are at a sacrifice to them. So I hope to be an encouragement to my wife in being a husband who loves her and to my children in helping raise them in God's ways. They are all growing way too fast and I need to take time to just share in the regular daily things of life and create memories that they will hopefully cherish.

So I would appreciate your prayers. I do not know what the future holds but I do hope to return soon and hopefully re-energized and strengthened to go for another 20 years.

In His grace,
Pastor John