Mission to Tucuman 2009

God has blessed us tremendously with the opportunities to represent Him not only here in San Diego, but to other parts of the world, namely in Ostrava, Czech Republic and Tucuman, Argentina. Our family has been to Ostrava almost every year since 2000, not counting the year we didn't send a team in 2002 and the year Angela had Olivia (2005). So this year was quite different as we have always looked forward to spending time with our precious friends and partners in ministry, the Mellwigs and the rest of the church in Ostrava. In fact, this year was all the more difficult not to go since Meinolf, Martina, and Anika came to visit earlier this year and we were able to spend some quality time together. So it was with a measure of sadness and a sense of uncertainty in what to expect that our family planned to go to Tucuman with our team from Lighthouse.

By all accounts we have much to be thankful in the past four trips before this year. Though it has been at times challenging and even controversial due to some doctrinal and philosophical issues, this past March found Patrick and myself flying over to Tucuman to work out these issues with Pastor Jorge. Much to our joy, we were able to communicate and clarify these issues, especially since it related to the essence of the gospel and how to present it. So it was with much anticipationg that we looked forward to this summer's trip as I felt it was important to go as a family to both experience what was taking place in Tucuman as well as to give a strong show of support to Pastor Jorge and the church.

It was definitely different from our trips to the Czech Republic. For starters, it was winter down in Argentina and it had to be the coldest winter, even by their standards. The evenings would sometimes drop below freezing and we were not prepared with any winter clothing so it was pretty cold. But what warmed us was the welcoming spirit and the overwhelming love that the church showed. From the very beginning when we drove to the "salon" (the rented meeting room that was to be our headquarters for the trip), it was a constant reminder of how great the love we share in Christ can be. From the Argentine cheek kiss to the many conversations we were able to have (assisted by some wonderful translators), the whole week was a whirlwind of activity as we would breeze in and out of the salon, meeting with the church, going door to door in the barrios, to playing soccer and volleyball at the park. It obviously would be difficult to describe it all here but suffice it to say that the whole trip was really a blessing in so many ways.

There were some challenges along the way with Kara and Alyssa getting sick, digestive issues with various team members, the famous "black boogers" from all the stuff flying around in the air. The swine flu initially caused some difficulties for us because many things were being affected, including the ability to gather in large groups as well as some of our original translators being unable to participate due to restrictions. But God worked everything out marvelously to His glory.

It was also an opportunity for me to step back and allow others to step up and serve. Angela had been to Argentina 23 years ago when she was in college on a short term trip and returning with a husband and four daughters had to be a bit surreal. But it was great to see how she was able to minister to all the women of the church, constantly being asked to meet up with many of the ladies throughout the week. Even our daughters were able to participate, especially Jenna and Kara, going out door to door, sharing testimonies and getting to know the youth of the church. Alyssa made a number of friends as the girls from the church who were her age welcomed her and wanted to play with her immediately. Olivia was quite the popular figure as she was embraced (literally) by everyone.

The team did a great job as there were times that I was unable to fully participate due to being a bit sick myself as well as in watching the kids in the mornings. I would have to say that each member of the team did a great job in not only being cooperative but in being flexible with the many schedule changes, delays, postponements, and other adventures that we all faced.

The church in Tucuman did an incredible job in serving out team. There was a team that prepared meals for us each day, lunch and dinner. The meals were great, including the famous empanadas a number of times as well as other dishes that I had never seen. There was plenty of beef all throughout the trip. We were able to enjoy a couple of asado bbqs, courtesy of the master asado chef Marcello Espeche. It was a joy to see him growing and rejoicing in his restored marriage and ministry in the church.

I had the opportunity to preach many times, to share the gospel, and to encourage the members of the church. Looking back it seems like it went by so quickly but it really was a full trip. I can see how God was so faithful to provide for us in every way, from the prayer and financial support to orchestrating all the details in such a way that worked out best.

Please pray for the church in Tucuman. Pray for Pastor Jorge, Norma and Josue as they are in the position to provide leadership and support for the church. Pray for leadership to develop in the church as their church planting efforts are dependent on the nurturing of more leaders to help provide shepherding and teaching. Pray for the young people of the church to grow strong in the Lord and provide hope for their future. Pray for Carlos and Sylvia Espeche as they suffered a miscarriage a few months ago and have had difficulty in being able to conceive. Marcello (Carlos' father) was really broken over this and asked that we as a church family pray for them since he knows our prayers meant so much for him when he was struggling. Pray for little baby Mariono Gabriel who had surgery today for some medical conditions that have been difficult. Pray for the translators who have been facing much difficulties due to doctrinal differences and ministry philosophy differences in their churches. Pray also for our church to continue in reaching out to places such as Tucuman so that we can fulfill the Great Commission faithfully to God's glory.

Report night is coming in September....

The Good News of the Gospel

The good news of the gospel is good because it not only brings us to salvation in proclaiming the death of Christ on our behalf but it continues to be good in providing the basis for our obedience and following Christ, both individually and corporately as a church. The past few months have been humbling and encouraging, for I have found that the neglect of the gospel has lead many down the road to legalism and a pharisaical attitude, including myself. It is easy to use a performance mentality in gauging spirituality, both in my own life as well as in others. Yet the mindset that says we need to try and earn God's favor through our hard work and labor for the sake of the kingdom can lead to a works mentality that contradicts the foundation of living by grace through faith. We are not only saved by grace through faith in our justification, we are also continually to walk in grace through faith in the finished work of Christ on the cross. As Jerry Bridges notes, "Your worse days are never so bad that you are beyond the reach of God's grace. And your best days are never so good that you are beyond the need of God's grace." This is indeed comforting news for those of us who are so performance oriented that we can go from one extreme to the other. We feel good about ourselves when we are doing well with all our spiritual disciplines and maintaining a high level of activity. We then feel bad about ourselves when we miss our quiet times and go through prolonged periods of spiritual lethargy. While Romans 6 reminds us not to abuse grace, we must remember to also consider that we forget about grace as we live out the Christian life.

The reminder to "preach the gospel to yourself" has been something that I have heard before, but it has not been so prominent as it has become now. The gospel must be central to my life's purpose and message. I am called to live in a manner worthy of the gospel and I am to partner with fellow believers for the sake of the gospel (Philippians 1:27). If this is so, then the gospel needs to be constantly on my mind from my waking moments to the time I go to bed.

It is no surprise to see the apostle Paul so focused on the cross of Christ. One of my favorite verses since high school has been 1 Corinthians 2:2 - "For I determined to know nothing among you except Christ and him crucified." This verse has been revived in my heart and I see how easy it is for me to then walk in the flesh when I forget to fix my eyes on Christ (Hebrews 12:2).

As we celebrate our 10th anniversary at Lighthouse, I would like to again reiterate what was preached this past Sunday. The mission of Lighthouse - to make disciples of Christ, is no less than a call to go and proclaim the gospel, making disciples who will then be baptized and taught to live in light of the gospel for the rest of their days. The vision of Lighthouse - to plant churches, gives us the goal of taking the gospel ministry, both for the purpose of evangelism and edification, to places where there is a need for the gospel to be made known. The passion of Lighthouse - to love God and people, can only be truly experienced when the gospel is driving our loving so that it really is the love of Christ that both motivates us and energizes us to love in the way God defines true love.

The gospel is precious - don't let it become something that you think is so basic that you are not in need of preaching it to yourselves daily. My prayer is that the gospel would become the beacon of your heart, your mind, your mouth, and the unifying factor in all your relationships so that Christ might receive all the glory.

Love or Die

The most recent book by Alexander Strauch titled, "Love or Die" is a very serious and challenging work that needs to be read by anyone who loves the church. The rebuke of the Ephesian church in Revelation 2 by Christ is one that every church needs to take seriously because hard work, perseverance, and even doctrinal purity are no guarantee for success in God's eyes. What God is looking for is a heart that truly loves Him as well as loves others as Matthew 22:37-40 calls us to in what is known as the Great Commandment.

I have long feared that the day would come where our love would grow cold and it seems to be creeping into our church as the level of selfish ambition and empty conceit continue to rise in various forms. It breaks my heart to hear of the slander and gossip that takes place, the absolute refusal to apply the Peacemaker Pledge in dealing with conflict, and the lack of compassion that some have for others that don't seem to please them for one reason or another. I have realized that even as I have been reading the Old Testament record of the nation of Israel found in the Pentateuch that though they were privileged to have seen incredible signs and wonders by God, were delivered from slavery in Egypt, saw God part the Red Sea and destroy Pharoah's army, were fed with manna from heaven and all you can eat quail buffet line, had water drawn from rocks, it still was never enough to keep them from complaining and seeking to rebel against God's leadership. While we might think we could do better, I don't think so. Even with all God's blessings given to us, His grace and mercy being poured out through the cross of Christ, His mercies being made new every morning, people who claim to be Christians still have the audacity to hate their brother or sister. I think that's why the title "Love or Die" is very appropriate to consider. If we do not love the way God calls us to love, the church will die. Relationships will die. Pastors will die. Church member will die. It is a serious matter and I hope that everyone at Lighthouse will take the Passion statement serious - to love God and people. It's not enough to make it a nice slogan. It's not just something to recite at members meetings. It is the heart and soul of our Mission and Vision, for without true and genuine love for God and people, the mission will fail and the vision will fade.

It is the prayer of my heart that the members of our church will grow in their love, that it may abound more and more in real knowledge and all discernment so that we might approve the things that are excellent before God. We must help each other, for we are all incapable of doing it on our own. It truly is a team effort and I pray that we will be united in our love for God and people.

As it is our 10 year anniversary this year, let's make it our goal to really ask if we believe in our MVP statement and will we actually live it out? This coming Sunday we will talk about our Mission and Vision and I hope that you are ready!

In His grace,
Pastor John

Consider It All Joy

James 1:2 has long been instilled in my head and heart as a verse to keep in mind, particularly when things get difficult. But it is not easy to actually apply as the reality of life often overshadows the truth of God's Word and it is easy to dismiss Scripture as impractical. But I am thankful that despite how I might feel about this, the truthfulness and the trustworthiness of the Scriptures remains constant due to the fact that God's Word is inextricably tied to God's character and nature.

But to consider it all joy when various trials are encountered - this is something easy to tell someone else but it is a whole other story when it comes to me. Next to the spiritual battles that have been waged over the years, the next most challenging thing has been the trials of my physical health. The past few weeks were indeed filled with some minor issues, a bad cough, a cold (it is the cold season), and an allergic reaction to my blood pressure medication that caused me to go visit the hospital. This past week I was introduced to a pain that I had not had before, that of diverticulitis. At first my doctor thought it might be appendicitis and I was bracing myself for surgery. While I understand it to be a common procedure that many undergo, nothing seems to be common to me. But after a battery of tests, I was finally diagnosed and was given a number of medications to take, which my wife Angela promptly took care of getting for me. By the evening time after having taken the first dose of the antibiotics, I started to get an allergic reaction and I knew that it had to be because of the medications. So off I went back to the hospital and was given additional medication as well as a switch on the antibiotics. So here I am in bed now not being able to do much since I end up getting drowsy from both the painkillers (I was in a lot of pain in my lower abdomen due to the inflammation in my colon as well as my lower back) and the antihistimine (for the allergic reaction). I have anti-nausea medication to combat the nausea that comes from the other medications. I see why pharmicists have a job now - they need to know how everything works together. So now I understand why doctors keep asking if you allergic to medications - it is not helpful to take medications that cause your body to do crazy things. So I am thankful to be alive because I know it is only by the mercies of God that I am.

So the past year has been filled with so many visits to the hospital that I feel like I am really getting to know the place well. Drawing blood is like second nature. Getting hooked up to iv's and being subjected to swallowing all sorts of strange concoctions so that I can get scanned is old hat. But one thing I do know, I am able to truly say that it is causing me to appreciate all the more those who have suffered for the sake of Christ in ways that are unimaginable. As the end of Hebrews 11 shares, there were many who suffered horrendous deaths for the sake of Christ. If you have ever read J.C. Ryle's work on the martyrs of the English Reformation, "Light from Old Times" or Foxe's Book of Martyrs, you will see that today's sufferings for those of us who live in southern California don't even compare to those who willingly laid down their lives for the One whom they loved more than life itself. So I am thankful that my measly sufferings, as small as they might be, cause me to look forward and to press onward with endurance so as to run the race that Christ has called us to run.

At the same time I would ask for your prayers that I would be patient with the recovery time, that I would be diligent though I am dazed by the effects of all the medication I am taking, and that I would continue to experience joy in light of my Savior's love.

Thank you for those who have been praying. I am so thankful.

Happy New Year!!

2009 has come upon us and I am eagerly awaiting what God has in store for us. Last year was quite a challenge to say the least and it really was difficult to recover from but God has been gracious in being more than merciful and has restored my heart and hope in light of the cross of Christ and the hope of the resurrection.

This past Christmas break gave me the opportunity to minister in several places. The first was a youth retreat with Los Angeles Christian Presbyterian Church's youth winter camp at Big Bear. I had done an evangelism training seminar for them during the summer so it was an opportunity to follow up with them and I had a great time challenging them to be unifed in Christ. It snowed quite a bit as well so the retreat site was a bit slippery and I ended up having to put on chains but it was a wonderful time, especially having the opportunity to encourage the youth pastor and the Christian Education director. We had some great talks and I realized that God has been gracious to give me an opportunity to minister to other pastors and leaders who have been discouraged and downcast because of ministry.

After enjoying Christmas with both sides of the family, we drove up to San Jose for two ministry opportunities. One was with San Jose Korean Presbyterian Church where my friend is the EM pastor. I had a chance to preach at both the youth service in the morning and then the EM service in the afternoon. From there we drove over to Mount Hermon where I was the main speaker for Student for Christ, a college/singles winter conference that is held every year. I was still getting over a cold and cough that I had before the previous retreat so it was a bit challenging to speak so many times when my throat was killing me. But God again was faithful to get me through each session and I had the opportunity again to speak with other pastors who were discouraged and were in need of encouragement.

After the conference we went over to the home of Ed Yip, where we were generously and graciously treated to some Shanghainese food and then we slept over. On New Year's Day we had a LBC fellowship over lunch and it was great to see both past and present LBC members come together and share how they were doing as well as hopes of future ministry in San Jose. We need to be in prayer for our brothers and sisters in San Jose as the church scene is tough and the adjustment for them has been challenging. We also need to pray that God would one day maybe give us opportunity to hopefully plant a church in the San Jose area as it seems that it is a place ripe for ministry to take place.

Our family drove back down on New Year's and we then were able to have a couple of days to recover before getting back to our home base. Church this past Sunday was sweet. It was good to see people back from studying abroad as well as to just see the church family together. One exciting thing was a quick-notice meeting of dating couples and engaged couples. I hope to start a "lab" where we could really work toward providing ongoing teaching and accountability for those in relationships. Quite a few people came out so I'm excited about the future opportunities.

Babies keep coming - Hwa and Suzie Park added Ethan to the family and Jin and Grace Lee added Christian to their family. More babies are on the way so we are excited to see the church's future take shape.

Let's all be in prayer for our church this year. As we celebrate our 10 year anniversary, I am hopeful that God would continue to lead and direct us to move forward and fulfill the MVP statement that we have set before us. I would also encourage you to spend time reading Scripture daily. Even if it is only for a few minutes, take time to read carefully and prayerfully and meditate on it throughout the day. Treasure it and it will keep you from sin (Psalm 119:11).

Thank you for your prayers and for your support. I love my church family!

October Update

Greetings to the few, the faithful, the ones who read this blog =)

It's nice to know that there are some people praying so I will give an update as to how things have been going. I'll probably only do this a few times while I am officially on leave.

Healthwise, I am currently wearing an appliance in my mouth 24 hours a day to help correct my jaw alignment. I am taking two different kinds of medication for my blood pressure. I have to wait for a month before I go for the followup with the cardiologist. I have been checked for glaucoma and it looks like I'm in the clear for now (thanks Dr. Jeff Lee!) but he mentioned that my left optic nerve is bent. My skin condition has cleared up for now after getting steroids (thanks the other Dr. Lee!) - don't worry, my muscles aren't bulking up. My gastro-enterologist visit will take about a month to setup so it won't be until November. I still have to start physical therapy for my assorted neck and back and jaw ailments. So pretty much that's it for now.

I am getting a little more sleep and rest. It's strange trying to avoid thinking about church. I realize that I have been constantly thinking about church and it is difficult to keep it out of my mind. Trying to visit other churches has also been challenging as I realize it is not easy finding a church that where I would be in alignment with doctrine and ministry philosophy. But it has been interesting observing how other churches do things. I hope to visit other churches in the San Diego area and get to know more of the pastors.

I will be visiting Austin, Texas for a couple of weeks to visit my brother-in-law as well as to have some peace and quiet away from eveything. I hope to really get some good quiet time to rest as well as have my body and spirit renewed. So please pray that it would be a profitable time.

Thank you for those who pray. I truly appreciate it. There are some who tell me they pray and I'm sure there are others who do pray that I am not aware of - your prayers are precious and without them I would definitely be at a loss. Please continue.

I hope to return at the beginning of the year in January so please pray that these next few months will be a beneficial time of recovery.

Pastor John

Taking My Leave of Absence

To the LBC family,

I know that many of you maybe were not at church this past Sunday to hear me share but I am going to explain what I will be doing with my requested leave of absence. These past two years have been incredibly difficult with various issues that we have had to address here at the church. In the summer of 2006, I took what was supposed to be a two month sabbatical and apart from about a couple of weeks and Sundays, I was still immersed in my work as there were some significant challenges that we were dealing with at the time so I really did not get a chance to utilize that time in the way I had hoped. Since then, things have steadily become more challenging and with the trauma of what took place at the end of last year, my physical condition started to deteriorate. This year proved to have no letdown in the stresses that we have been facing within the leadership and it all finally came to an apex a couple of weekends ago when I realized that I could not sustain my responsibilities with my physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual state being broken down as much as it was. So it was with great difficulty that I have had to come to the conclusion that as much as I love the church, I am not indispensible and that I have to trust God with the people of the church whom I love deeply. It is with much reluctance that I step back because I truly love ministering to people and at least for those who really know me, they know that I really care for people. I have been accused of caring too much - I really don't know how one can care too much. I believe people care too little because they are so preoccupied with themselves that they only care about how they are cared for and not so much how they should care for others. That's why it is no surprise to me that we have as many relational conflicts as we do in the church. The selfishness and self-centeredness that grips so many people truly reflects a "life is all about me" kind of attitude and the stranglehold it has is very difficult to break. But as we have shared so many times at Lighthouse, "life is not about you" and we need to really carry that out.

So what will I be doing during my leave? I'm not sure yet how long it will be but there are several things that I must do:

1. Address my various health problems. To make a short list, I have to followup with the defective heart valve and find out what is causing my chest pains. I will be visiting a cardiologist to see how things go with that. I have to visit a gastro-enterologist to see what is causing the spasms in my esophagus and stomach. I have to visit an ophthomologist for possible glaucoma as my eyesight continues to worsen. I have to visit a dermatologist to address various skin issues that have been causing me much discomfort over the past year. I also have to go through some physical therapy and/or chiropractics to address all the aches and pains I have all over my body. My blood pressure has been consistently very high over the past year so I will have to start taking medications and monitor the response. I will also have probably do a sleep study to see why I am unable to sleep well. I will also have to address some problems with my jaw as I will be wearing some devices 24 hours a day so as to confront some muscular problems that have been causing me constant pain. It will prohibit me from speaking much so I will not be able to do a whole lot in terms of preaching or teaching.
Hopefully that's all, at least what I can remember.

2. Let go of all ministry responsibilities. This will probable be the most difficult thing to do but I will be relinquishing all pastoral responsibilities during my leave. That means I will not preach, lead, plan, counsel, disciple, or in any other formal way carry out my pastoral role at Lighthouse. I will have to entrust the elders and pastoral staff to shoulder the load and do their best to carry on what needs to happen at the church. You will need to pray for the pastoral staff and elders extra diligently so that they might have strength and wisdom to carry the extra load.

3. Get rest. I hope to get physical, mental, and spiritual rest by spending extended time in getting sleep, exercise, and personal times in God's Word and prayer without the pressure of pastoral responsibilities weighing on my shoulders. I also hope to take some time to attend a couple of conferences for my own personal edification.

4. Spend time with my wife and children. While I do my best to care for my family, it is obvious that they have to share me with the church family in many ways that are at a sacrifice to them. So I hope to be an encouragement to my wife in being a husband who loves her and to my children in helping raise them in God's ways. They are all growing way too fast and I need to take time to just share in the regular daily things of life and create memories that they will hopefully cherish.

So I would appreciate your prayers. I do not know what the future holds but I do hope to return soon and hopefully re-energized and strengthened to go for another 20 years.

In His grace,
Pastor John

Pastoral Prayer Request

To my dear Lighthouse family,

It was good to be with you this Sunday after having been gone for two weekends. It was especially sweet to be together for our time of corporate worship and fellowship, to celebrate communion, to introduce our missions teams, and to welcome the Faith Bible Church team from Canton, Ohio who visited us again on their way to Mexico. Sundays are always wonderful reminders of the grace of God as we celebrate the community that we share in Christ.

I realized that I was not very specific in sharing how my health conditions were so to make it clear, I will share it here. I know that I have often told others to share of their prayer needs and to not withhold it and I realize I have done what I have told others not to do, and that is to not allow people to share in their opportunity to pray.

I have been suffering chest pains for about a month and while I have had some chest pains before, they usually went away. But this time they did not and in fact would seem worse typically in the evenings where I would have shortness of breath, light-headedness, and a lot of pressure. So I finally went to the emergency room about a week ago where they ran a battery of tests and confirmed that I had a problem with my mitral valve with moderate leakage. So they referred me to a cardiologist which I went to a few days later. There they took another sonogram to confirm the condition of the valve and since they had no recorded history of my problem, they have decided to monitor my condition over the next few months to see what kind of rate there is in the deterioration of the valve. So we shall see how things go and hopefully when I get back from the Czech Republic, I'll be able to follow up and get a further update. My blood pressure has also been considerably high, particularly in the past year and much of it has been in conjunction with the challenges that we have had at church that have brought much stress and difficulty. So with all being said and done, I need to do a lot better job being prayerful and laying my burdens before God and to not be anxious in light of circumstances. Admittedly, I struggle greatly when there is relational turmoil and this past year has been by far the most difficult. My heart is both figuratively and literally broken over the events that have taken place as there has been no greater sorrow than to have broken fellowship with those that have been dear to me. The impact has spread far across our extended family and has affected the perception that friends and even members within Lighthouse have of both myself and the elders. But God has also been gracious in bringing encouragement and joy through how He is working in the lives of our leaders as well as other members of our church. So there is much to be thankful for despite the circumstances. There can be joy when we encounter various trials because it truly does bring about endurance that has its perfecting work in bringing about holiness and sanctification in our lives.

Thank you for your prayers. They are indeed most precious to me and I value nothing more than your supplication on my behalf. God is indeed good to provide such a wonderful church family that seeks to love and edify one another.

Summer Camp with the Youth

This past weekend our youth ministry, consisting of our incredible youth pastor JR Cuevas along with the equally incredible staff, joined Faith Bible Church of Murrietta for a 6 day, 5 night summer retreat at Lake San Antonio, just above San Luis Obisbo. Our family, including the little ones, took part in a very new experience for them - tent camping in 110 degree heat! It was dirty (literally) and with lots of bugs and oppressive heat but nonetheless it was a fun time as our youth were exposed to the "large youth group" dynamic, which was very similar to my Grace Church experience in junior high and high school. There were about 160 kids in addition to a whole lot of staff and parents from FBC who took care of all the cooking and prep to run the camp. It was quite an incredible scene to watch dads who took time off to cook on an outdoor grill in 110 degree heat with the grill topping off at around 600 degrees (some of them literally got burnt as they cooked!). The kids got to enjoy going to the lake several days to try wakeboarding and getting dragged around on an innertube by speedboats.

But the highlight for me was the opportunity to team up with Chris Mueller to preach to the youth. We taught through the book of Jonah and it was a surreal experience to sit in the audience with the youth as Chris spoke. It brought back memories of 30 years ago when I first sat under his teaching. But then to go up and have him in the audience was quite weird. But then I quickly remembered that I wasn't preaching for his approval but for God's approval. It was a memorable time for me and I was so encouraged by Chris as he shared with me his thoughts on my preaching. This was the first time he heard me preach in person.

I can't help but truly thank God that He has provided me with a pastoral mentor like Chris. His gentle yet firm admonishments as well as his constant encouragement have been so timely in the past year and a half as the past year and a half have been truly difficult in dealing with leadership issues, especially at a relational level. To be heartbroken and devastated by those that work with you is something that most people will never understand from a pastor's point of view, but Chris, having gone through it in a most devastating way by the person who had been closest to him for many years, has been able to provide the kind of perspective that only someone who actually went through these kinds of trials could understand. I can't help but think if God didn't send him to Temecula at the time that He did, the past year and a half could have turned out very different for me, and definitely not for the better. But God in His grace saw fit to meet my weakness and provide someone who has been truly like a Paul to me.

To have Chris and his wife Jean minister to our family, even to our kids, has been a special encouragement as well. Jean has ministered to Angela in ways that only a pastor's wife could and she has a special gift to touch little ones lives. Olivia just loved being with her and again I just couldn't help but thank God for His gracious gifts to our family through Chris and Jean.

This has been particularly a challenging time as the recent events have taken a pretty strong toll on my health, I would ask for your prayers as I have to get checked for some possible health issues. But regardless of the prognosis, I am thankful that God has been so gracious to me.

Please pray for our youth ministry as well, for JR and the staff as they invest in the lives of our youth. They have been doing a terrific job and their willingness to invest time in this retreat was just another example of their devotion to our youth.

Pursuing a Gentle and Quiet Spirit

DTR2 Q&A

Question: How does one pursue developing a gentle and quiet spirit as found in 1 Peter 3:4?

Answer:

As discussed this past Sunday at the DTR2 session, I shared about various qualities one should look for in a God-honoring relationship. For the ladies, one of the first qualities that was brought up was that of a gentle and quiet spirit. What does it mean to have a gentle and quiet spirit and how does one pursue nurturing such a quality?

The word "gentle" refers to the character quality that is most marked by a humble and kind spirit that provides the basis for submission, which is the primary quality being addressed in 1 Peter 3:1, "In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husband." Now someone might get distracted at this point and say, "I'm not a wife yet!", but that would be to rush too quickly to judgment.

The quality of gentleness is one that stems from being filled with the Holy Spirit. In Galatians 5:22-23, the fruit of the Spirit is characterized in a nine-fold display of one who is walking in the Spirit (Gal. 5:16). So gentleness is not simply reserved for wives alone but is to be characteristic of every Christian, men included.

For those that might minimize the importance of gentleness, it was displayed in none other than our Lord Jesus Christ Himself as the Scriptures express the following:

Matthew 11:29
Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

Matthew 21:5
Say to the daughter of Zion, "Behold your King is coming to you, gentle, mounted on a donkey, even on a colt, the foal of beast of burden."

2 Corinthians 10:1
Now I, Paul myself urge you by the meekness and gentleness of Christ - I who am meek when face to face with you, but bold toward you when absent!

Our Lord displayed this trait of gentleness, which no doubt would lead us to consider how we might imitate Him. Consider He who is King of kings and He is exalted in being proclaimed "gentle" and even when the apostle Paul is exhorting the believers in Corinth, he appeals to them with the gentleness of Christ. It is an observation this is truly noteworthy for it uplifts this character trait from the stereotypical view of those being gentle equates to those who are weak.

Ladies, to display gentleness in your heart and spirit is not a sign of weakness or a lowering of value as the world might portray it. It is to follow in the very footsteps of Christ and it would be no small thing to display this trait, even in a dating relationship because first and foremost, you should be cultivating this quality simply because you are a Christian. But there is a special relevance as it relates to the role that you are to prepare for and that is to be a submissive wife.

Carefully consider the exhortations relating to gentleness in Scripture:

Matthew 5:5
Blessed are the gentle, for they shall inherit the earth.

Philippians 4:5
Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near.

Titus 3:1-2
Remind them to be subject to rulers, to authorities, to be obedient, to be ready for every good deed, to malign no one, to be peaceable, gentle, showing every consideration for all men.

Ephesians 4:1-2
Therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love, being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

Note how these passages are all relational in nature and it is not a sign of weakness but actually that of power. The gentle will inherit the earth!

I remember when growing up my mom gave me a devotion that she had heard from somewhere that gentleness was "power under control." This is very true. It is not a sign of weakness but it actually is a sign of strength. There is nothing more difficult than to show gentleness when confronted with conflict and when someone might be making life very difficult for you and you feel justified in getting angry and upset and letting your emotions out. That is why it is impossible to be truly gentle apart from the power of the Holy Spirit in those situations.

Gentleness is also the key to all relationships, even in relation to being submissive to the governing authorities. It is also key in how we display our high calling in Christ and it is what contributes to true unity in the church.

How true then would it be for any kind of relationship to grow and flourish? Ladies, your contribution to a God-honoring relationship for the long-term will depend on your commitment to growing a gentle spirit. So how is it possible?

This is where the next word "quiet" comes in to play. The idea of being quiet is just that, to be quiet. There is an appropriate time speak and to voice your opinions but there is also a time, maybe even more so to be quiet in your demeanor and disposition. The idea of "quiet" also belies a stillness or tranquility of spirit, one that is unaffected by the emotional turmoil that often causes many to end up being obnoxious and nasty, especially in their words and attitudes toward others. The idea of a gentle heart really is found and evidenced when someone is able to show self-control and show that the peace of God reigns in their hearts.

Philippians 4:6-7
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

Note that these two verses follow verse 5, which mentions the idea of gentleness. When there are times of anxiety, which no doubt comes up quite often in the whole issue of dating relationships, whether you are in one or not, the key here is to have a spirit that is characterized by being at peace. A quiet spirit is one that truly experiences the peace of God and it will then coincide with the display of gentleness, regardless of the circumstances but especially in light of difficult circumstances. Too many ladies are quick to discard gentleness to the wind when confronted with various situations and while it might be understandable from the world's perspective to get upset and angry and to really run roughshod over a person, it is a far cry from one who is called to be living sacrifice before God. This is where we cannot afford to be conformed to the world but instead be transformed by the renewing of our minds with wisdom from above, which incidentally includes gentleness as being characteristic of heavenly wisdom (Jam. 3:17).

One last thing to note going back to 1 Peter 3:4. When women are challenged to exhibit a gentle and quiet spirit, you must consider that there are two significant things about it that make it important. First, it is an imperishable quality, that is, it is incorruptible and has an eternal quality about it. It is not subject to cultural revision or a changing of the times. It is a quality that when displayed in a God-honoring way is timeless. Second, it is a quality that is precious in the sight of God. It is the inner beauty of the heart that God sees as most valuable. Just as when Samuel was looking for a king out of the sons of Jesse, God admonished his short-sightedness when he thought the first-born was going to be chosen. "God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart" (1 Sam. 16:7).

Ladies, if you desire to see the glory of God be displayed in your life, it will not be by focusing on the external adornment that this world so quickly turns to in order to define "beauty" but instead it is to focus on the hidden person of the heart. Beauty that is honoring before God is characterized by a gentle and quiet spirit and you cannot allow the lies of the world to convince you otherwise. Just like the serpent in the garden in Genesis 3, the world will say, "Indeed did God say?" and will get you to question the Lordship of Christ in your life.

Men, you also need to consider the priority of inner beauty as you consider your relationships with women. What do you truly value and what are you attracted to when it comes to ladies? If you do not see spiritual qualities such as a gentle and quiet spirit before you go looking, you will most likely find out, and sadly find out later that you will have wished for this quality to be present when you find yourself with someone who might be physically attractive but lacking severely in this area and you will find yourself miserable with a "beautiful" woman. It has been show time and time again - can't you just watch the news and see the drama of our celebrity world as it is awash in glamour and appearances, only to find that it as Solomon said, "Vanity of vanities!"

So what are some practical ways to develop and practice a gentle and quiet spirit?

1. In your speech

Proverbs 15:1
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

What side will you find yourself on this verse? Gentle words or harsh words? Be careful the next time you talk with anyone, but especially those that are close to you, like family and friends. Note the tone of your voice and ask yourself if God would be glorified with harsh words or gentle words. If you are really brave, ask those that you really want to help you to hold you accountable in this area. But you really need to mean it because it will be tremendously difficult. But if anything, it will remind you to discipline yourself for the purpose of godliness.

2. In correction

Galatians 6:1
Brethren, even if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, so that you too will not be tempted.

When you find yourself in a position to correct someone, take a moment to remember that if you really do consider yourself to be spiritually mature, then your correction will take on a tone of gentleness, never out of anger or bitterness or resentment. Too often you can crush a person's spirit when correcting. Consider many children who while they admittedly need correction, only have their hearts bruised and eventually hardened by the harsh tone of correction that is expressed.

Ladies, when you feel hurt or think that the guy is being insensitive or otherwise unkind to you in some way, if you presume yourself to be acting in a God-honoring fashion, a gentle and quiet spirit means that you will not allow yourself to be drawn into a judgmental attitude and then unleash on the other person harsh words that are condemning in nature. You will in fact only condemn yourself to your hypocrisy as you will no doubt find yourself in the other shoes and then you will have nothing to say because your own words will condemn you. Take time to first exercise self-control in your heart and then make sure your words are gentle and quiet. Remember that you will be held accountable for every word that you utter.

Another thing that you as ladies can do is to pursue Titus 2 relationships with older godly women who can practically walk you through what it means to have a gentle and quiet spirit. Now you will have to choose wisely because not all older women in the church necessarily display this kind of quality. But when you do find one (remember they won't be perfect), you need to really grab a hold of that relationship and squeeze them for every ounce of wisdom you can get because it is priceless to have such influences in your life.

For those who have heard me share about them before, Fred and Mary Barshaw were an older couple at Grace Community Church that really impacted my marriage with Angela. Both were such kind and gentle spirits that every time we would talk with them, they would exude the kind of examples that we really cherished and valued. I can't help but notice that there are too few of these kind of examples these days. If there is anything that would be worthwhile to pursue, it would be to have the kind of gentle and quiet spirit that really reflects spiritual strength, stability, and maturity that will then bode well for a relationship in any context, but especially a dating relationship that will hopefully one day lead to marriage.

Well, a long answer to question #1. Hope that helps.

What's the Problem with Dating?

It seems to me that the issue of dating is one that will never go away because we obviously have many singles (both college and post) who are hopeful (or maybe feeling hopeless) in finding that special someone that they hope will one day become their spouse.

The frustration that I have with this issue is that no matter how often we address it at a teaching level, there is the inevitable reaction against principles brought up or maybe even more disconcerting is the obvious lack of attention given to the teaching, resulting in a total oblivious attitude that is seen in the continuation of a worldly mindset that does not reflect wisdom from above as found in Scripture.

There are still those who would insist that it is fine to date a non-Christian, even though there have been very clear statements made regarding this issue. It really should be a non-issue because as a Christian, you should have in common the most important thing in your life, and that is Christ. If you have some misguided notion that through your dating you will be able to bring that unbelieving person to Christ, you really need to be honest with your heart motives and allow the Holy Spirit to pierce you with the Word of God (Hebrews 4:12). It is really a result of a compromise that has often been fostered by even so-called "Christian" parents who really do not prioritize the importance of a genuine faith in Christ. Going to church is often enough for someone to justify that it is okay to date a non-Christian and all too often the relationship starts to move in to areas that really are not glorifying to God. The sad conclusion to this kind of situation is that marriage will often take place and then there is a life-long conflict put into place that no doubt is the source of many conflicts and the greater likelihood of divorce (can you see that the issue of "irreconcilable differences" would actually be coming into play here?).

But I would venture to say that there is hopefully a better understanding about this particular issue at Lighthouse, at least for those who have attended the DTR sessions that we have had (one in fall 2005 and the other in fall 2007, which will continue starting April 13).

I would like to give a reminder to those who attended the first session of DTR2 in October of 2007 with the Reformation principles that provide the foundations for what I believe would be a God-honoring worldview that can then work through the issue of dating. I would concur with others that there are different ways for the idea of "dating" to work toward marriage. But where I would disagree is that if someone were to replace Biblical principles with worldly wisdom (note that I wrote replace), then this directly flies in the face of Romans 12:2, where we should not be in conformity to this world but be transformed by the renewing of our minds.

So a few questions to remind you (in light of this past Sunday's message on Romans 15):

1. Sola Scriptura (Scripture Alone)
Is the inspired, inerrant, infallible Word of God sufficient to provide the final authority to govern all aspects of life, including dating? Or do you seek other sources of "wisdom" to follow?

2. Sola Gratia (Grace Alone)
Are you in agreement that except for the grace of God extended to you that you have absolutely no hope in any aspect of life, including dating? Or do you act in a way that reveals you think you are entitled to something that you think you deserve, especially in SOMEONE you think you deserve?

3. Sola Fide (Faith Alone)
Do you truly trust in the Lord with ALL your heart instead of leaning on your own understanding? Or do you try to manipulate people and circumstances to force your own agenda?

4. Solus Christus (Christ Alone)
Is Christ your first love? Or have you compromised this with the priority of self-love to the point where you want someone to join you in loving yourself instead of Christ?

5. Soli Deo Gloria (Glory to God Alone)
Is it your greatest desire to glorify God in all areas of your life (1 Corinthians 10:31)? Do you truly seek to be a living sacrifice (Romans 12:1)? Or have you exchanged the glory of God for the excrement of this world and the pursuit of self-glory?

Your attitude toward dating will reveal a lot about you as to the reality of these five principles in your life. What is evident through the fall out of those who do not heed God's Word is a clear rejection and rebellion against the wisdom of God and instead the foolish pursuit of worldly thinking.

There are some who need to be confronted. There are others that need to be encouraged. There are the marrieds who need to set an example to the singles. There are youth and children that are watching to see what those who are in this stage will do. So everyone is affected and no one has an excuse to turn a blind eye to this issue.

See you April 13 at 6pm as we resume DTR2.

Pray.

Dedication of our new facilities

God has graciously given our church a new facility and it really is amazing to think that after almost nine years at our previous site we now have a place of our own (to rent still but that's okay). As we have been putting in many hours to get the various aspects of the building ready for use, it really has been a blessing to see so many people willing to give of their time and energy to literally build up the church building. Not only that, as we have various needs arise, such as the need for a cleaning ministry, we have had almost 30 people signup to help with that and so it truly is encouraging to see our church family step up.

Not that I want to get too intense about it, but as I think about how much effort and energy went into building the tabernacle during the time of Moses, or the building of the temple by Solomon, a lot went into the building of a facility that was meant to facilitate corporate worship. But what eventually happened to both? They would lose their meaning as many forgot that worship is not about a building but about the hearts of people congregating to worship God together. It's not just about a ceremonial service or following a liturgy but that every aspect of our lives, whether the singing, the sermon, the fellowship, or even the eating and drinking, that all of it would be done to the glory of God together.

I believe that we in San Diego know little of the tests of adversity but we are tested more with the tests of prosperity. We have so much and yet we often do so little with what we have been given. So I want to really challenge all of our church family members to consider carefully that we have been given a great stewardship. We have a larger sanctuary not just so that we could increase our attendance for having larger numbers but for increasing the corporate worship of God. That will only happen if we are truly setting our eyes on Christ and that He alone would be the focal point of our devotion. That must then be consistently upheld throughout the week in our individual lives wherever we go.

So this Sunday as we look forward to being blessed by the preaching of some wonderful friends of our church - Andy Snider and Chris Mueller, let us remember that it is not the building that makes a church - it is the body of Christ, those who are truly following Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior that make up the church and we must rise up and fulfill the mandate that we have been given:

Mission - to make disciples of Christ (Matthew 28:18-20 *note the addition of verse 18)

Vision - to plant churches (Acts 1:8)

Passion - to love God and people (Matthew 22:37-40)

Bring your family and friends this Sunday to either or both services (9am and 6pm) as we thank God for His grace to us.

Let's get together and shine the light brightly for our God!

Reflections on the Shepherds Conference 2008

Attending the Shepherds Conference at Grace Church each year with members of our church is always one of the highlights of the year. Over 3000 men come together from all over the nation as well as around the world to hear Christ-centered preaching that upholds the Scriptures and promotes the kind of unique fellowship that occurs when like-minded men gather together to worship, to be equipped, and to stimulate one another with God-honoring conversations.

This year was no different as 13 men from Lighthouse went and enjoyed the preaching of John MacArthur, Tom Pennington, Rick Holland, Al Mohler, Steve Lawson, and Phil Johnson. There were a number of seminar sessions taught by various members of the Grace Church pastoral staff and the Master's Seminary. The short breaks in between were filled with runs to the food stations starting from breakfast to afternoon snacks. The highlight at least from a meal viewpoint was when we got in line to receive our free books and then pickup an In-N-Out lunch. There were books, books, and more books - it's probably the only setting where you see the majority of the crowd interested in books. Getting to meet people from all over is also a highlight as there were over 1000 first time attenders who came to the conference. Running into the sanctuary to get a front row seat is always fun to watch as it is such a contrast from most churches on Sundays where the last rows fill up first.

You can hear the message from this past Sunday on the website audio - it was pretty much a highlight of the lessons learned. But one thing that I am always convicted of more than anything is this - I need to really be on my knees and pray so that I might study the Word of God with the help of the Holy Spirit so that I might proclaim the excellencies of the One who has granted us the gift of the Scriptures so that we might know His heart and live for His glory. It is a humbling task and one that I am always reminded of that I am so unworthy to be a herald for the King of kings and Lord of lords. As a slave, I have no other recourse than to submit my heart, soul, mind, and strength to serve my Master and to point people to Him. Having the mentality of a slave changes everything. Most people, if not all, will take offense to that term. But if you have Master who has shown grace to you, who has shown the extent of His love by having His Son take our place, who has granted to us all the riches in the heavenly places, who has called us to the highest life purpose one can have, that is, to seek first His kingdom and His righteousness so that He might be glorified, there is really nothing more that I can ask for as it is the most magnificent and transcendent purpose one can live for in this life for it extends to eternity.

I hope that you would just get a little glimpse of what it means to follow the Savior. It is not because we are so perfect or because we do it the right way all the time. More often than not we struggle with our human frailities and we stumble due to our proclivity to sin. But by the grace and mercy of our God, we have been granted power from above to be His witnesses, from our home to the remotest parts of the earth and we can and we will be able to experience the work of God in us and through us as we simply deny ourselves, take up our cross daily, and follow our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Let us fix our eyes on Him who loved us first and gave Himself up for us. Let us boast in nothing else than the cross, to know that the sacrifice made was the means by which we have been reconciled to God.

As we move to our new facilities soon, I hope that our excitement is more than just about a new facility. For sure, it is a tremendous gift from God. It is very exciting to have this opportunity. But even more so is the opportunity to love and follow our Savior each and every day as we know that God has promised to do abundantly beyond what we could ask or think. So let's band together as a family and turn San Diego upside down with the gospel according to Jesus and see His Name magnified to all the peoples for His glory alone.

Listening to Great Preaching

Having to preach every Sunday, not to mention on Fridays and other Bible studies, does not give me very many chances to visit other churches to hear other preachers. But for three Sundays, I will have had the opportunity to hear three of my favorites. As I shared in the last entry, I heard Chris Mueller preach and minister to my heart. This past Sunday, I went to Grace Community Church and heard John MacArthur preach from Luke 22. I had not been to a Sunday morning service at Grace since 1989 so it had been quite awhile. The whole service was a reminder of the great blessings I had growing up - the music, the singing, the prayer, even the announcements were all part of looking back and just thanking God for the rich foundation I was granted in my junior high, high school and college years. I got to introduce Kara to John MacArthur and it was a joy to have her sit with me in listening to my pastor.

The past few days I have been in Minneapolis (very cold!!!) where I was able to attend the Desiring God conference for pastors. It was my first time and it really was an incredible time as the theme was on the pastor as father and son. D.A. Carson, a very well-known theologian and professor from Trinity in Chicago was the main speaker along with a few other speakers but his typical thoroughness in addressing the theme was such a deep and hearty feeding of truth that I was really full after hearing him share. John Piper also shared about the legacy that his own father left him and it was really inspirational hearing him share very personally about his relationship with his father who was also a pastor. All the speakers that shared were very much in tune with the challenges and hardships that pastors face so it was with a great measure of empathy that they shared and exhorted and comforted throughout all the messages. There were some statements that were made during one of the messages that really spoke to my heart as they directly related to things that I had been going through and so God was merciful to minister to me while I've had some time to just receive.

This weekend I will get a chance to visit John Piper's church and hear him preach so I'm very excited and looking forward to that as well. I will have then heard three of my favorite preachers in three weeks - what a privilege and treasure it has and will be! Then I'll be back in the pulpit on February 17 and hopefully rejuvenated and refreshed to minister for a long stretch.

Thank you to those who have been praying for me. It has been a stretching time these past few months but God has been gracious to allow me the opportunity to get some rest and I hope that I will be able to encourage you all the more when I return.

Encouraging News

I had the opportunity to visit Faith Bible Church in Murrieta last Sunday where I got listen to Chris Mueller preach. I had not heard him preach in person since around 1988 when he was my college pastor, though I had listened to many of his sermons on audio. But to be able to sit as a normal, regular, church-goer and just soak in the message was like receiving a draught of cool water after being in the desert. It was such an encouragement to my heart to see the same passion yet tempered with wisdom that obviously comes with experience (something I still have much to learn about) as he preached on Deuteronomy 6 and the importance of parenting with the word of God. It was more than just the words that he spoke - it was the heart that was behind it, a heart that has gone through much heartache and sorrow but also much joy and blessing. There is much to be said about having mentors in your life that truly invest in you.

After the message, I went up Chris and he just gave me a big hug and it was like medicine. He has known of my own heartaches throughout the past but especially in the past several months, his counsel and prayers have been invaluable as I know they come from someone who has consistently invested in my life since I was in junior high. Though often times his messages were so convicting, they were never devoid of a tremendous love that he showed in a personal way, even when I was a shy, nerdy kid who never ventured to speak to someone unless spoken to first. He has gone through some tremendous heartaches in ministry as well, which all the more made his counsel more meaningful as he has faced betrayal and the destruction of relationships in ways that I couldn't imagine. Yet he has come out of it still on fire for Christ and he and his wife Jean have been such a blessing to our family that we can't believe God would gift us in such an incredible way.

Meeting the youth pastoral staff, Shawn and John (the high school and junior high pastors) was all the more testimony to Chris' impact on the church ministry. Here are two lay guys who are not paid at all, yet they have given themselves so sacrificially to the youth of the church that in the past year alone, the youth ministry has doubled in size. It's not just that the group has grown numerically. There are about 20 staff members, of which there are an astounding 6 married couples from every range, with those with teens to those who have little babies to those who just got married. Watching them serve the youth at the winter retreat was like reliving my old days at Grace Church. That's what got me into youth ministry in the first place - having been impacted by not only the pastor but by the staff who spent time with me to help me grow in my walk with God.

It was so refreshing to be able to observe another church family that really loves Christ, loves one another, and wants to make a difference in the world. I gave them my best shots, long ones at that =). Yet the youth and even the staff responded with such heart-warming conviction.

It was truly a balm to my soul after having gone through a harrowing time the last year. To be honest, my spirit and heart were severely damaged through all that has happened in the past year and only by the grace of God am I still breathing and looking forward. My physical and emotional well-being have been battered and I'm still recovering in both ways, but God has seen fit to show mercy in allowing me some time to rest (even though I got sick) as well as to reflect on the past year.

It was only in the providence of God that He arranged for me to speak back in October for the youth retreat this past January so that it would give me an opportunity to be encouraged. While I was the one who was the speaker who was supposed to encourage the youth and staff, it was actually the youth and the staff the encouraged me abundantly more and getting to see Chris last Sunday was like whipped cream on top.

God, you are indeed good and sovereignly put all things together for good for those who love you and are called according to your purpose.

I find my rest in you.

Truth that Dares!

The Single Life winter retreat this past weekend was really a wonderful time as we had time to learn, fellowship, pray, and just have some fun together. It was very providential in God's timing that it came this weekend as things had been so difficult for the past several months that I really was in need of some encouragement and the weekend was indeed full of encouragement as there were many, both old and new, who came and made the weekend one that was truly enjoyable.

The message times focused on a number of themes:

1. Dare to Be Truly Spiritual
2. Dare to Hate Respectable Sins
3. Dare to Enjoy Fearing God (Pastor Patrick)
4. Dare to Love God's Way

My hope through the messages was that everyone would really be honest and genuine about where they stood in their relationships with God and the challenge was to really not be complacent or apathetic about it. It was promising to hear that many had taken the messages to heart and I look forward to see the fruit of the application.

Angela and I were quite surprised by the ending of the retreat as Kent Hong came up to share some words of encouragement and present us with a gift so that we could do some things with our family. It was quite overwhelming to have everyone surround us and pray for us. God was truly merciful in encouraging us this way as the past week was one that was pretty difficult in light of recent events. Friday morning of the retreat was probably the most difficult point as I was pretty distraught and discouraged and I think I was at the point where I really was starting to just really wonder why things had happened the way they did. (I know I'm being a bit vague but I hope you understand). My heart was sore (both physically and spiritually) and so preparations for the retreat were a bit difficult to manage all week. But Patrick and JR provided much help and support and the Single Life staff really did their part to make the retreat work out and overall I was just so thankful as I was really a wreck leading into the retreat.

God is indeed merciful as I look back and see how He orchestrates things that ultimately display His grace. I can't help but just really be thankful that God really knows what He is doing and that in time, He brings all things together for good.

Many have been asking about my time off - it's not really a sabbatical but time off from preaching on Sundays and Fridays. I still have much to do with planning things in light of recent changes so it's not as free as I would have hoped for but at the same time it is exciting as God has laid on my heart to really invest in the Children and Youth ministries in laying a vision and direction that will be consistent with an emphasis on Family ministries at our church. So please be in prayer as the next month will really be devoted to developing a vision for those specific ministries.

Thank you for those who pray - it really is the most meaningful thing to me to know that there are faithful prayer warriors who are uplifting this poor undershepherd before the throne of grace.

Happy New Year!

Welcome to 2008!!

To say "Happy New Year!" is not something that I really take too seriously as it seems a bit superficial and even contrived when you look at the harsh realities of life. But I think it is something I have had to address in my heart that I often would be more pessimistic in my outlook toward things rather than hopeful and it just might be because the joy and peace in knowing and trusting in Christ is more in the background rather than in the forefront of my heart condition and it inevitably shows.

When I have heart pains, I usually get concerned because I know that my physical heart condition is not so good. I have allowed the circumstances of life at times to overwhelmingly stress me out to the point where my physical body actually feels the consequences of the emotional and mental distress. My teeth have been grinding for so many years that I didn't realize it until half of my bottom teeth were worn away (don't ask to look - it's not a pretty sight). I actually tore a muscle in my mouth last week while I was sleeping, even with my nightguard in place - I didn't know that was possible. My neck and back are so tense at times it feels like I am sleeping on a rock. All this and more have been more than enough proof to show that my emotional and mental state can have some very severe effects on my physical body and I often am in so much pain that I can't stand it.

Left to myself, I am helpless. I can resort to drugs, physical therapy, and other things, but I realize that what really can bring relief (not necessarily physical) is the shoring up of my spiritual condition. When I am truly experiencing joy and peace in Christ, it really does affect my emotional and mental state to the point where I am reminded of the hope I have in Christ and the anxiety no longer paralyzes me. But when my gaze is not fixed on Christ, I find it so easy to be not only distracted, but to be redirected as to how I live my life.

This new year afforded me the opportunity to do some evaluating of my heart condition and I have come to see that I need to be more resolved in pursuing the hope of my life - Jesus Christ. It really is in Christ alone that I can find the joy and peace that anchors my hope and trust in Him. It is in Christ alone that I can have the right perspective in life amidst the challenges and trials that come and go. It is in Christ alone that I ultimately find my life's purpose and apart from Him, there would truly be no real reason to live.

So while circumstances are not necessarily so "happy", I have found joy in my salvation, I have found peace in the sovereignty of God, and I have found hope in the promises of a faithful God who I know will consistently and daily make manifest His mercy and grace to a sinner like me.

Happy New Year!!

Looking back at 2007

As the year winds down, there is much to look back and consider. For me it is easy to focus on the negative things and I am often reminded that I need to see what I am thankful for. So here it goes:

1. God's faithful mercies. Romans 11:30-32 and 12:1 has come to mind often when I consider that my calling to be a follower of Christ is not just some duty but it is a gift of God's mercy. When I consider the miserable sinner that I am, it truly is God's grace that gives me hope because there would be none without it.

2. God's gracious gift of my wife. Proverbs 18:22 says "He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord." In my case, I have found more than just a good thing, I have found a wonderful and beautiful thing in my wife that fears God and seeks to live to His glory and who supports me in all my craziness. She truly is a gift of grace and she makes marriage, which is the grace of life (1 Peter 3:7), one that I treasure and enjoy. This year I was able to enjoy date nights probably more consistently than I ever have and it really was something that I have come to cherish all the more as I grow closer to my precious wife.

3. God's gracious gifts of my four daughters. To have four daughters indeed is a super-abounding gift of grace as I am constantly reminded daily of how blessed and loved I am by my four very unique but equally precious daughters. It is something that I have come to appreciate all the more this year as I realize that I am getting closer to the point where I will have to start releasing them. Each one is precious in their own way and I enjoy having each one of them as they bring a spark and flavor to life that is distinct and yet complementing of each other so as to contribute to oneness in the family.

4. The elders of LBC. To have worked together this long and have gone this far was not without its challenges. Indeed, the past two years have probably brought the biggest tests yet and I am so thankful that God has blessed me with men who have become very dear to my heart as we have had to wrestle through various issues, even to the point where things got very difficult. But God has been faithful to help us help one another and their support and encouragement to persevere have been very helpful, especially in the past several months.

5. The Single Life Ministry. I have truly enjoyed working alongside a growing staff of 20+ who are growing into a team that has been very exciting to work with as the Single Life ministry has been growing significantly over the past year. The staff have particularly been an encouragement through their faithfulness and enthusiasm to serve and minister to the single adults at Lighthouse and their commitment has been contagious. There are many new singles that have become a part of the church family and it has been a blessing to see their hunger to grow in God's Word and take their faith seriously.

6. Meeting with men who desire strong accountability. There are a number of men that I meet with on a somewhat consistent basis because they desire to meet and I can honestly say that I truly look forward to times with them because of their teachability and humble attitude in wanting to learn. One of the greatest traits that I look for in a person is teachability because without there is nothing that I can really do to help them.

7. The faithfulness of godly pastors. I can say that the past couple of years have really tested my resolve in wanting to continue in the ministry but one thing that encourages me to endure and continue are the examples of pastors who are personally encouraging to me. John MacArthur, who was my senior pastor growing up from junior high through college years, has shown an amazing consistency and faithfulness that truly humbles me yet challenges me to continue striving. Ever since first hearing him preach in 1978, he has been a constant in my life and now almost 30 years later he continues to be a role model of what a preacher should be through his preaching ministry but also a shepherd through his personal care. I am amazed that he would even have time to communicate with me but through short conversations and notes and greetings, I am all the more thankful for his influence and impact in my life.

I would also say the same for my junior high and college pastor, Chris Mueller, who has been a mentor and counselor since my 9th grade year (1979). His fiery sermons in college addressing the roles of men and women as well as dating made an enduring impact in my life which has lasted to this day. Through his joys and trials in ministry, he has shared openly with me in such a humble way that I am constantly amazed at his investment in my life. The past couple of years has especially been a blessing as he has moved to Temecula and has become more available to meet with - this was truly God's gift to me as I was sorely in need of counsel and encouragement.

8. Encouragement notes. It seems that when I feel pretty down, God is gracious enough to have someone send a timely note of encouragement, whether through e-mail or on one of the encouragement slips.

Proverbs 15:23 - A man has joy in an apt answer, and how delightful is a timely word!
Proverbs 16:24 - Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.
Proverbs 25:11 - Like apples of gold in settings of silver is a word spoken in right circumstances.

The book of Proverbs really does charactize the one who walks in the wisdom of God as one whose tongue is particularly distinct in the character of its contents. An encouraging word goes a long way and I often am amazed at God's grace in providing timely words of encouragement just when it gets to the point where I feel like I'm about to go under with discouragement.

9. Laughter. I know that laughter on its own is useless (Ecclesiastes 2) but when one gets to laugh with those that you love to be with, I think it is a healthy sign. I love it when Angela laughts - it is contagious and just causes me to be happy. I love hearing my girls laugh, even if they are laughing at me. Hearing Olivia laugh is such a joy - it really is so cute that I can't bear it for her to grow older. Being able to laugh with family and friends and partners in ministry - I really value being able to enjoy relationships and I think the absence of laughter is a tell-tale sign that things are not that enjoyable.

10. Overwhelmingly gracious and generous people. The past couple of years has provided some experiences with those who have been just over-the-top generous and gracious to our family by providing things that I know we would never be able to afford on our own. Supporting us on our annual summer mission trips. A family trip to Italy last year. Passes to Sea World. Gift cards to nice restaurants. Being treated to lunch or dinner to anywhere from Sombreros to Soup Plantation to even home-cooked meals. Having our auto maintenance taken care of. Providing nice clothes for our children. Giving gifts in various forms. Others who were willing to make time every week to help my wife and children. People bringing food over to feed our large family. Padres and Charger games. Taking our kids out to places. While I have heard of people doing these kind of things for people like John MacArthur and others, I never thought our family would experience such gracious hospitality and care. It really makes me feel all the more unworthy and that such gifts are truly a reflection of the super-abounding grace of God in a way - I don't deserve and I could never come close.

11. God's Word. While this is mentioned last, it is by no means least. The power of God's Word is truly amazing and I have learned that I need to spend more time to let it do its work in my heart before I preach it to affect others. Going through Romans has especially been challenging as it is really one of the most theological books to go through. I probably have only scratched the surface and will have to go through it again. Studying Titus through the summer was a blessing as well. Reading what others have written concerning the Word of God is helpful as well as I have enjoyed reading works by Jerry Bridges, John MacArthur, Martyn Lloyd-Jones, and others. Reading about the lives of those who have been transformed by the Word of God, like George Whitefield, Jonathan Edwards, and D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones especially challenged me this year. I hope that I will humbly submit myself to the truth of God in my life all the more in the upcoming year and be teachable to it with the help of the Holy Spirit.

I probably could go on and on but despite the challenges that this year has brought, even most recently, I realize that being thankful really is helpful in giving balance to perspective in life.

Please pray for me to continue practicing thanksgiving in my heart in the days and weeks to come as I trust the Lord to provide healing and recovery in light of recent events. I have hope in the Lord's faithfulness to restore and revive my heart to trust and delight in Him no matter what the circumstances may bring.

In the Line of Fire

It was four years ago almost to the week that we faced the fires that hit San Diego pretty hard. I remember driving through the 15 freeway heading south to the church office (off of Convoy at the time) on my way to teach a baptism class when I drove right through a firewall, which had to be one of the more scary moments of my life as everything turned pitch black and the heat was pretty intense. After what seemed like forever, I saw daylight and drove through and it was an eerie feeling. We had to move our church service that day to someone's home and looking off into the distance, it was pretty strange to think that fires could do so much to change the course of how we look at life.

This morning I was awakened to find that we had to evacuate our home and after packing some things, we moved over to Scripps Ranch, only to find that we had to evacuate from there as well. Moving to the coast in La Jolla, the day has been pretty much filled with trying to coordinate the church members in finding homes for all the people who have had to evacuate.

Though it is pretty hectic considering all that is going on, I can't help but thank God for His grace and goodness in how the church family is responding with every effort being made to help provide shelter and care for one another. It really is great, even those who are new to the church are jumping in and offering their homes.

Dropping by the church, I couldn't help but look at all my books and realize that they would go up pretty fast in a fire. I took a few to prepare for the next coming weeks so that I would at least have a few resources but it was a bit sad looking at everything, realizing that a lifetime of collecting books could go away in a moment. But having studied Ecclesiastes these past few months, it has been sobering to understand that everything in this life is really passing in nature and without God, there would be no point to it. A life filled with plenty would be an empty life without God but a life filled with God though with little would make me a pretty rich man. These are thoughts that are not so easy to consider when one realizes that there is a very good chance you could lose your home and all your possessions, but when you realize that you're going to leave it all behind one day anyway, it doesn't seem so important after all.

What is all the more important is seeing that the love of God moves us to care for one another in time of need and I really am so thankful to have a church family that will stand in the line of fire (literally) and apply the kind of family love that we have talked about in Romans 12:10 and has been generous and hospitable and considerate in considering the needs of others.

Who knows what the next few days will bring but one thing for sure, I know that they will bring the grace of God through the love and care of our church family.

DTR2: Waiting for Magic?

Marriage is a scary proposition for many to consider. But what is amazing to me is how many Christians do not really seek God's truth regarding marriage but look to their own feelings and emotions to guide them in making decisions. Many will place intuition and things like compatibility and personality issues as the primary factors in making a decision and wait for lightning to strike. This is the so-called "magic" that people look for and while I will not deny that there is some element of subjectivity, it seems a bit odd that many will dismiss seeking God's Word for guidance regarding marriage and instead look for the "magic."

This is seen in the whole world of dating where both men and women use worldly wisdom, if you could even call it wisdom, to make their decisions on what makes for a good partner. There are those who would entertain having a dating relationship with a non-believer. Scripture is clear on this point and while I sort of addressed it in passing, I realized that for some, they might have though it was just my opinion. It is not.

2 Corinthians 6:14-15
Do not be bound with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness? Or what harmony has Christ with Belial, or what has a believer with an unbeliever?

If you are thinking of entering into a relationship with an unbeliever just because you feel there is some "magic", you are truly deceived by the illusion that there could be a genuine and intimate love relationship that would be to the glory of God. How could you engage in a relationship with thoughts of marriage when marriage is to reflect the relationship between Christ and His bride, the church? If you do not agree on the most important issue of your standing with God, how will you have anything else in common that is of significance? You might enjoy the same music, have the same hobbies, and feel like you "click" but if the foundations are not built on the same Rock, I don't care how compatible you feel, e-harmony tests notwithstanding.

For the Christian man or woman who is seriously contemplating a dating relationship, you cannot consider it without seeing it as a trajectory toward marriage. That's why you can't afford on some subjective "magic" to be your primary guide. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and DO NOT LEAN ON YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING!! (Proverbs 3:5). In ALL YOUR WAYS acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths (Proverbs 3:5). I would take it that God intended this to be true even to this day and that it would include all things, including dating.

I find it a bit strange that those who would say they are Christians are less inclined to trust God and more inclined to trust human wisdom, when there has been more than enough evidence as to its failures. Just go to your local bookstore and check out the section on relationships and it is chock full of nonsense.

This is not to say that Christians automatically have everything work out perfectly, even though they might try their best to follow the right path. We live in a sinful world and even the most sincere Christians are not able to see everthing clearly. Yet we find hope in the sovereignty of God that He causes all things to work together for good. This is not an excuse to justify willful disobedience to God's Word - that is simply unacceptable. You should never presume on the grace of God to get away with sin. But it is to say that as you do trust in the Lord with all your heart, He will never give you something that you can't handle (1 Cor. 10:13) and He will provide all you need to make it through.

So instead of looking to illusions and deceptions, look to the God of truth who not only created the institution of marriage, but has the means by which to get there in a way that is consistent with His will.