What's the Problem with Dating?

It seems to me that the issue of dating is one that will never go away because we obviously have many singles (both college and post) who are hopeful (or maybe feeling hopeless) in finding that special someone that they hope will one day become their spouse.

The frustration that I have with this issue is that no matter how often we address it at a teaching level, there is the inevitable reaction against principles brought up or maybe even more disconcerting is the obvious lack of attention given to the teaching, resulting in a total oblivious attitude that is seen in the continuation of a worldly mindset that does not reflect wisdom from above as found in Scripture.

There are still those who would insist that it is fine to date a non-Christian, even though there have been very clear statements made regarding this issue. It really should be a non-issue because as a Christian, you should have in common the most important thing in your life, and that is Christ. If you have some misguided notion that through your dating you will be able to bring that unbelieving person to Christ, you really need to be honest with your heart motives and allow the Holy Spirit to pierce you with the Word of God (Hebrews 4:12). It is really a result of a compromise that has often been fostered by even so-called "Christian" parents who really do not prioritize the importance of a genuine faith in Christ. Going to church is often enough for someone to justify that it is okay to date a non-Christian and all too often the relationship starts to move in to areas that really are not glorifying to God. The sad conclusion to this kind of situation is that marriage will often take place and then there is a life-long conflict put into place that no doubt is the source of many conflicts and the greater likelihood of divorce (can you see that the issue of "irreconcilable differences" would actually be coming into play here?).

But I would venture to say that there is hopefully a better understanding about this particular issue at Lighthouse, at least for those who have attended the DTR sessions that we have had (one in fall 2005 and the other in fall 2007, which will continue starting April 13).

I would like to give a reminder to those who attended the first session of DTR2 in October of 2007 with the Reformation principles that provide the foundations for what I believe would be a God-honoring worldview that can then work through the issue of dating. I would concur with others that there are different ways for the idea of "dating" to work toward marriage. But where I would disagree is that if someone were to replace Biblical principles with worldly wisdom (note that I wrote replace), then this directly flies in the face of Romans 12:2, where we should not be in conformity to this world but be transformed by the renewing of our minds.

So a few questions to remind you (in light of this past Sunday's message on Romans 15):

1. Sola Scriptura (Scripture Alone)
Is the inspired, inerrant, infallible Word of God sufficient to provide the final authority to govern all aspects of life, including dating? Or do you seek other sources of "wisdom" to follow?

2. Sola Gratia (Grace Alone)
Are you in agreement that except for the grace of God extended to you that you have absolutely no hope in any aspect of life, including dating? Or do you act in a way that reveals you think you are entitled to something that you think you deserve, especially in SOMEONE you think you deserve?

3. Sola Fide (Faith Alone)
Do you truly trust in the Lord with ALL your heart instead of leaning on your own understanding? Or do you try to manipulate people and circumstances to force your own agenda?

4. Solus Christus (Christ Alone)
Is Christ your first love? Or have you compromised this with the priority of self-love to the point where you want someone to join you in loving yourself instead of Christ?

5. Soli Deo Gloria (Glory to God Alone)
Is it your greatest desire to glorify God in all areas of your life (1 Corinthians 10:31)? Do you truly seek to be a living sacrifice (Romans 12:1)? Or have you exchanged the glory of God for the excrement of this world and the pursuit of self-glory?

Your attitude toward dating will reveal a lot about you as to the reality of these five principles in your life. What is evident through the fall out of those who do not heed God's Word is a clear rejection and rebellion against the wisdom of God and instead the foolish pursuit of worldly thinking.

There are some who need to be confronted. There are others that need to be encouraged. There are the marrieds who need to set an example to the singles. There are youth and children that are watching to see what those who are in this stage will do. So everyone is affected and no one has an excuse to turn a blind eye to this issue.

See you April 13 at 6pm as we resume DTR2.

Pray.

Dedication of our new facilities

God has graciously given our church a new facility and it really is amazing to think that after almost nine years at our previous site we now have a place of our own (to rent still but that's okay). As we have been putting in many hours to get the various aspects of the building ready for use, it really has been a blessing to see so many people willing to give of their time and energy to literally build up the church building. Not only that, as we have various needs arise, such as the need for a cleaning ministry, we have had almost 30 people signup to help with that and so it truly is encouraging to see our church family step up.

Not that I want to get too intense about it, but as I think about how much effort and energy went into building the tabernacle during the time of Moses, or the building of the temple by Solomon, a lot went into the building of a facility that was meant to facilitate corporate worship. But what eventually happened to both? They would lose their meaning as many forgot that worship is not about a building but about the hearts of people congregating to worship God together. It's not just about a ceremonial service or following a liturgy but that every aspect of our lives, whether the singing, the sermon, the fellowship, or even the eating and drinking, that all of it would be done to the glory of God together.

I believe that we in San Diego know little of the tests of adversity but we are tested more with the tests of prosperity. We have so much and yet we often do so little with what we have been given. So I want to really challenge all of our church family members to consider carefully that we have been given a great stewardship. We have a larger sanctuary not just so that we could increase our attendance for having larger numbers but for increasing the corporate worship of God. That will only happen if we are truly setting our eyes on Christ and that He alone would be the focal point of our devotion. That must then be consistently upheld throughout the week in our individual lives wherever we go.

So this Sunday as we look forward to being blessed by the preaching of some wonderful friends of our church - Andy Snider and Chris Mueller, let us remember that it is not the building that makes a church - it is the body of Christ, those who are truly following Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior that make up the church and we must rise up and fulfill the mandate that we have been given:

Mission - to make disciples of Christ (Matthew 28:18-20 *note the addition of verse 18)

Vision - to plant churches (Acts 1:8)

Passion - to love God and people (Matthew 22:37-40)

Bring your family and friends this Sunday to either or both services (9am and 6pm) as we thank God for His grace to us.

Let's get together and shine the light brightly for our God!

JR's thoughts on Resurrection Sunday, 2008

THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THE RISEN CHRIST

1 Corinthians 15:13-14 ¹³ But if there is no resurrection of the dead, not even Christ has been raised; ¹⁴ and if Christ has not been raised, then our preaching is vain, your faith also is vain.

This thought really first occurred to me one afternoon when I was in the church office by myself working on some homework that I had assigned to me in one of my seminary classes. Of what I can recall (not everything’s crystal clear in my head), it had been a long week. Physically, I had been drained from the long commute to L.A. and back to S.D. coupled with the sleep that eluded me that week. Mentally, it was a draining week; studying Hebrew isn’t exactly a piece of cake for someone like me, who struggled with the subject of foreign languages more than any other subject in high school. Emotionally, it had been a stretch; leading small group, meeting up with guys, both in discipling and in being discipled, was tiring for my introverted personality (although I loved every minute of it). So there I was, a joyful yet exhausted pastoral intern, doing whatever he could to spur himself to keep on going for the rest of the afternoon when, for a second, I took a break and stepped back to take a look at my life. At this point, I realized that everything in my life – whether directly or indirectly – was related to ministry. Right then and there, the following words ran through my head: “If Jesus didn’t rise from the grave, I’m completely wasting my life.”

Now, as a pastor (part-time, interim, youth, but still pastor) those same lines ran through my head this weekend – this time with an even deeper impact. For now, everything in my life – EVERYTHING – has to do with ministry. As for my job, I work at the church and earn my living from nothing else. As for my education, I’m pursuing two master’s degrees – only one is in divinity (M. Div) and the other in biblical counseling (M.A.B.C.); biology is now replaced by Bible; chemistry replaced by Christology; physics replaced by Pneumatology; math replaced by ministry. As to driving, I commute 520 miles a week up to L.A. and back to S.D. to attend school. As to sleeping, I’ve had become friends with sleep deprivation to accommodate the driving schedule (although I’ve figured out ways to get more sleep this year). As to eating, I have to eat healthy to make sure that my body can stay not only alive, but awake, to endure the hardships of the work. As to where I live, I’ve had to give up moving back to Hawaii to stay in San Diego to continue to minister in church and pursue the degrees listed above. As for my summer vacations, they’re occupied by summer school and missions trips. As to my relationships with people, everything is devoted to stimulating (or being stimulated by) someone else to look to a crucified Savior. As recreation – well, there’s not much time for that anymore. As for the goal of life – I’ve had to give up pursuing self-glory and fame to instead pursue holiness in Christ-likeness. Everything has to do with church. Everything has to do with ministry. Everything has to do with Jesus.

And so, looking at this kind of a life from a more objective perspective, it’s safe to say that if Christ did not rise from the dead, my life would be one thing and one thing only – a waste. It’s absolutely foolish – FOOLISH I say – to live a life devoted to a crucified peasant carpenter who, after spending three years making what Jewish society at the time looked at as nothing short of outrageous claims of deity and being crucified for it, simply decayed in his tomb like any other man would. It would be absolutely ludicrous to give up an entire life that could be devoted to sensual pleasures of the world to follow a man who could not promise me anything better beyond what I see in the world. It would be nothing short of a waste to deny myself, take up my cross daily, and follow a man who did not rise from the dead. Had that stone not been moved, had that linen not been folded, had Peter and John looked into the grave and seen what they had expected, then get me out of pastoral ministry, for JR is swimming in a bed of lies.

Does it not make sense then, for me to say today that Resurrection Sunday (what we all know as Easter) means more to me than it ever did? The more and more I grow in faith, the harder and faster I pursue holiness, the greater the sacrifices to live this kind of a life become – and the more and more the credibility and purpose of my life depend on the historical fact that Jesus of Nazareth rose from His grave. The longer I walk with Christ, the greater the necessity of faith becomes, and the greater the hope I place in His resurrection. If Jesus did indeed rise from the grave, then my life is not a waste. It is not a life to be pitied, but one to be envied. If Jesus did indeed rise from the grave, then following Him this hard no longer becomes one of many options, but the only option. If Christ did indeed rise, then there is no other alternative than to persevere to eventually be in His presence for eternity.

The next time you treat Easter Sunday as simply another excuse to gather around with buddies for some food, ask yourself if you’ve really given it all to follow Jesus Christ. And if you have, then let the reality of the resurrected Christ renew your minds, encourage your hearts, and stimulate your being to live the life as a slave purchased by the blood of the risen King!

2008 Shepherds' Conference

The most impactful lesson learned from the Shepherds' Conference this year came from a seminar session taught by Rick Holland on "Preparing Your Heart for Preaching." What is funny is that I was actually intending to attend the seminar taught by Phil Johnson but was in the wrong room. Thankfully, there are no accidents with God and what I heard in Rick Holland's seminar was very much needed.

He didn't teach on anything that I didn't learn in seminary. It was going over the basics like praying for your sermon, meditating on your passage, and preaching from the heart. What was most convicting was how far I saw myself straying from these very basic principles. Rick Holland talked about how you can identify if you are being self-reliant by examining your preparation for preaching to see if you are not praying for your messages. This came at me like a stake through my heart.

I had a chance to thank him for his seminar later in the week and he was honestly surprised because I told him that his seminar was the most impactful thing for me from the week. I was glad that he also shared that much of what he taught on he received as a personal rebuke as well.

As pastors, it is easy to make excuses not to pray. The busyness of ministry sometimes drowns out the fundamentals that are vital. How could I possibly think I could preach week after week without depending on the Lord to teach His Word through me? No wonder ministry was becoming so burdensome! I'm so thankful for this year's Shepherds' Conference because it was like a soothing balm for my soul and in the Lord I found great refreshment. It is great to walk away with lessons that I am joyful in being able to apply.

Reflections on the Shepherds Conference 2008

Attending the Shepherds Conference at Grace Church each year with members of our church is always one of the highlights of the year. Over 3000 men come together from all over the nation as well as around the world to hear Christ-centered preaching that upholds the Scriptures and promotes the kind of unique fellowship that occurs when like-minded men gather together to worship, to be equipped, and to stimulate one another with God-honoring conversations.

This year was no different as 13 men from Lighthouse went and enjoyed the preaching of John MacArthur, Tom Pennington, Rick Holland, Al Mohler, Steve Lawson, and Phil Johnson. There were a number of seminar sessions taught by various members of the Grace Church pastoral staff and the Master's Seminary. The short breaks in between were filled with runs to the food stations starting from breakfast to afternoon snacks. The highlight at least from a meal viewpoint was when we got in line to receive our free books and then pickup an In-N-Out lunch. There were books, books, and more books - it's probably the only setting where you see the majority of the crowd interested in books. Getting to meet people from all over is also a highlight as there were over 1000 first time attenders who came to the conference. Running into the sanctuary to get a front row seat is always fun to watch as it is such a contrast from most churches on Sundays where the last rows fill up first.

You can hear the message from this past Sunday on the website audio - it was pretty much a highlight of the lessons learned. But one thing that I am always convicted of more than anything is this - I need to really be on my knees and pray so that I might study the Word of God with the help of the Holy Spirit so that I might proclaim the excellencies of the One who has granted us the gift of the Scriptures so that we might know His heart and live for His glory. It is a humbling task and one that I am always reminded of that I am so unworthy to be a herald for the King of kings and Lord of lords. As a slave, I have no other recourse than to submit my heart, soul, mind, and strength to serve my Master and to point people to Him. Having the mentality of a slave changes everything. Most people, if not all, will take offense to that term. But if you have Master who has shown grace to you, who has shown the extent of His love by having His Son take our place, who has granted to us all the riches in the heavenly places, who has called us to the highest life purpose one can have, that is, to seek first His kingdom and His righteousness so that He might be glorified, there is really nothing more that I can ask for as it is the most magnificent and transcendent purpose one can live for in this life for it extends to eternity.

I hope that you would just get a little glimpse of what it means to follow the Savior. It is not because we are so perfect or because we do it the right way all the time. More often than not we struggle with our human frailities and we stumble due to our proclivity to sin. But by the grace and mercy of our God, we have been granted power from above to be His witnesses, from our home to the remotest parts of the earth and we can and we will be able to experience the work of God in us and through us as we simply deny ourselves, take up our cross daily, and follow our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Let us fix our eyes on Him who loved us first and gave Himself up for us. Let us boast in nothing else than the cross, to know that the sacrifice made was the means by which we have been reconciled to God.

As we move to our new facilities soon, I hope that our excitement is more than just about a new facility. For sure, it is a tremendous gift from God. It is very exciting to have this opportunity. But even more so is the opportunity to love and follow our Savior each and every day as we know that God has promised to do abundantly beyond what we could ask or think. So let's band together as a family and turn San Diego upside down with the gospel according to Jesus and see His Name magnified to all the peoples for His glory alone.