Taking My Leave of Absence

To the LBC family,

I know that many of you maybe were not at church this past Sunday to hear me share but I am going to explain what I will be doing with my requested leave of absence. These past two years have been incredibly difficult with various issues that we have had to address here at the church. In the summer of 2006, I took what was supposed to be a two month sabbatical and apart from about a couple of weeks and Sundays, I was still immersed in my work as there were some significant challenges that we were dealing with at the time so I really did not get a chance to utilize that time in the way I had hoped. Since then, things have steadily become more challenging and with the trauma of what took place at the end of last year, my physical condition started to deteriorate. This year proved to have no letdown in the stresses that we have been facing within the leadership and it all finally came to an apex a couple of weekends ago when I realized that I could not sustain my responsibilities with my physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual state being broken down as much as it was. So it was with great difficulty that I have had to come to the conclusion that as much as I love the church, I am not indispensible and that I have to trust God with the people of the church whom I love deeply. It is with much reluctance that I step back because I truly love ministering to people and at least for those who really know me, they know that I really care for people. I have been accused of caring too much - I really don't know how one can care too much. I believe people care too little because they are so preoccupied with themselves that they only care about how they are cared for and not so much how they should care for others. That's why it is no surprise to me that we have as many relational conflicts as we do in the church. The selfishness and self-centeredness that grips so many people truly reflects a "life is all about me" kind of attitude and the stranglehold it has is very difficult to break. But as we have shared so many times at Lighthouse, "life is not about you" and we need to really carry that out.

So what will I be doing during my leave? I'm not sure yet how long it will be but there are several things that I must do:

1. Address my various health problems. To make a short list, I have to followup with the defective heart valve and find out what is causing my chest pains. I will be visiting a cardiologist to see how things go with that. I have to visit a gastro-enterologist to see what is causing the spasms in my esophagus and stomach. I have to visit an ophthomologist for possible glaucoma as my eyesight continues to worsen. I have to visit a dermatologist to address various skin issues that have been causing me much discomfort over the past year. I also have to go through some physical therapy and/or chiropractics to address all the aches and pains I have all over my body. My blood pressure has been consistently very high over the past year so I will have to start taking medications and monitor the response. I will also have probably do a sleep study to see why I am unable to sleep well. I will also have to address some problems with my jaw as I will be wearing some devices 24 hours a day so as to confront some muscular problems that have been causing me constant pain. It will prohibit me from speaking much so I will not be able to do a whole lot in terms of preaching or teaching.
Hopefully that's all, at least what I can remember.

2. Let go of all ministry responsibilities. This will probable be the most difficult thing to do but I will be relinquishing all pastoral responsibilities during my leave. That means I will not preach, lead, plan, counsel, disciple, or in any other formal way carry out my pastoral role at Lighthouse. I will have to entrust the elders and pastoral staff to shoulder the load and do their best to carry on what needs to happen at the church. You will need to pray for the pastoral staff and elders extra diligently so that they might have strength and wisdom to carry the extra load.

3. Get rest. I hope to get physical, mental, and spiritual rest by spending extended time in getting sleep, exercise, and personal times in God's Word and prayer without the pressure of pastoral responsibilities weighing on my shoulders. I also hope to take some time to attend a couple of conferences for my own personal edification.

4. Spend time with my wife and children. While I do my best to care for my family, it is obvious that they have to share me with the church family in many ways that are at a sacrifice to them. So I hope to be an encouragement to my wife in being a husband who loves her and to my children in helping raise them in God's ways. They are all growing way too fast and I need to take time to just share in the regular daily things of life and create memories that they will hopefully cherish.

So I would appreciate your prayers. I do not know what the future holds but I do hope to return soon and hopefully re-energized and strengthened to go for another 20 years.

In His grace,
Pastor John

Meditations from 1 Thessalonians 2:7

I have had a lot of time to think about ministry this past week especially as I have been walking through 1 Thessalonians in my daily devotions. If there is any principle I am confident we must master, it is to do all things in love for God and for one another. This is so evident in the life and ministry of Paul, and it needs to be evident in us as well.

With the growth of the church body, it can become very easy to reduce ministry to programs. With this mentality, you just treat people as if they are problems that need to be solved. We forget that they are people with hearts that are oftentimes broken and in need of mending. We analyze a person’s situation and treat ministry as if it is simply taking a round biblical principle and plugging it into their round problem hole. I wish ministry was that simple, but unfortunately it isn’t. People are more complicated than that. Problems are more complicated than that. Oftentimes you unravel one problem to realize there are thirty more underneath it.

On top of that, a person isn’t just a problem that needs a solution. People feel. They hurt. They can be broken. Paul’s attitude towards the church was to treat them with gentleness as a nursing mother tenderly cares for her children (1 Thess. 2:7). The idea of gentleness literally means to be "mild, warm or kind." It is the exact opposite of using “tough love” or treating people coldly as if they are projects that need to be worked on. Paul’s example of love for the church is something I know I need to learn. There is so much to ministry I do not yet know and am still in the process of learning.

Pastoral Prayer Request

To my dear Lighthouse family,

It was good to be with you this Sunday after having been gone for two weekends. It was especially sweet to be together for our time of corporate worship and fellowship, to celebrate communion, to introduce our missions teams, and to welcome the Faith Bible Church team from Canton, Ohio who visited us again on their way to Mexico. Sundays are always wonderful reminders of the grace of God as we celebrate the community that we share in Christ.

I realized that I was not very specific in sharing how my health conditions were so to make it clear, I will share it here. I know that I have often told others to share of their prayer needs and to not withhold it and I realize I have done what I have told others not to do, and that is to not allow people to share in their opportunity to pray.

I have been suffering chest pains for about a month and while I have had some chest pains before, they usually went away. But this time they did not and in fact would seem worse typically in the evenings where I would have shortness of breath, light-headedness, and a lot of pressure. So I finally went to the emergency room about a week ago where they ran a battery of tests and confirmed that I had a problem with my mitral valve with moderate leakage. So they referred me to a cardiologist which I went to a few days later. There they took another sonogram to confirm the condition of the valve and since they had no recorded history of my problem, they have decided to monitor my condition over the next few months to see what kind of rate there is in the deterioration of the valve. So we shall see how things go and hopefully when I get back from the Czech Republic, I'll be able to follow up and get a further update. My blood pressure has also been considerably high, particularly in the past year and much of it has been in conjunction with the challenges that we have had at church that have brought much stress and difficulty. So with all being said and done, I need to do a lot better job being prayerful and laying my burdens before God and to not be anxious in light of circumstances. Admittedly, I struggle greatly when there is relational turmoil and this past year has been by far the most difficult. My heart is both figuratively and literally broken over the events that have taken place as there has been no greater sorrow than to have broken fellowship with those that have been dear to me. The impact has spread far across our extended family and has affected the perception that friends and even members within Lighthouse have of both myself and the elders. But God has also been gracious in bringing encouragement and joy through how He is working in the lives of our leaders as well as other members of our church. So there is much to be thankful for despite the circumstances. There can be joy when we encounter various trials because it truly does bring about endurance that has its perfecting work in bringing about holiness and sanctification in our lives.

Thank you for your prayers. They are indeed most precious to me and I value nothing more than your supplication on my behalf. God is indeed good to provide such a wonderful church family that seeks to love and edify one another.

Summer Camp with the Youth

This past weekend our youth ministry, consisting of our incredible youth pastor JR Cuevas along with the equally incredible staff, joined Faith Bible Church of Murrietta for a 6 day, 5 night summer retreat at Lake San Antonio, just above San Luis Obisbo. Our family, including the little ones, took part in a very new experience for them - tent camping in 110 degree heat! It was dirty (literally) and with lots of bugs and oppressive heat but nonetheless it was a fun time as our youth were exposed to the "large youth group" dynamic, which was very similar to my Grace Church experience in junior high and high school. There were about 160 kids in addition to a whole lot of staff and parents from FBC who took care of all the cooking and prep to run the camp. It was quite an incredible scene to watch dads who took time off to cook on an outdoor grill in 110 degree heat with the grill topping off at around 600 degrees (some of them literally got burnt as they cooked!). The kids got to enjoy going to the lake several days to try wakeboarding and getting dragged around on an innertube by speedboats.

But the highlight for me was the opportunity to team up with Chris Mueller to preach to the youth. We taught through the book of Jonah and it was a surreal experience to sit in the audience with the youth as Chris spoke. It brought back memories of 30 years ago when I first sat under his teaching. But then to go up and have him in the audience was quite weird. But then I quickly remembered that I wasn't preaching for his approval but for God's approval. It was a memorable time for me and I was so encouraged by Chris as he shared with me his thoughts on my preaching. This was the first time he heard me preach in person.

I can't help but truly thank God that He has provided me with a pastoral mentor like Chris. His gentle yet firm admonishments as well as his constant encouragement have been so timely in the past year and a half as the past year and a half have been truly difficult in dealing with leadership issues, especially at a relational level. To be heartbroken and devastated by those that work with you is something that most people will never understand from a pastor's point of view, but Chris, having gone through it in a most devastating way by the person who had been closest to him for many years, has been able to provide the kind of perspective that only someone who actually went through these kinds of trials could understand. I can't help but think if God didn't send him to Temecula at the time that He did, the past year and a half could have turned out very different for me, and definitely not for the better. But God in His grace saw fit to meet my weakness and provide someone who has been truly like a Paul to me.

To have Chris and his wife Jean minister to our family, even to our kids, has been a special encouragement as well. Jean has ministered to Angela in ways that only a pastor's wife could and she has a special gift to touch little ones lives. Olivia just loved being with her and again I just couldn't help but thank God for His gracious gifts to our family through Chris and Jean.

This has been particularly a challenging time as the recent events have taken a pretty strong toll on my health, I would ask for your prayers as I have to get checked for some possible health issues. But regardless of the prognosis, I am thankful that God has been so gracious to me.

Please pray for our youth ministry as well, for JR and the staff as they invest in the lives of our youth. They have been doing a terrific job and their willingness to invest time in this retreat was just another example of their devotion to our youth.

God Is the Gospel, by John Piper

This is one of those books that is quickly becoming a "classic." As defined by Rick Holland, a classic is a book that everyone has on their shelf and no one has read! In my personal reading, I have been trying to pick up many of these classics and start reading through them. Fortunately for me, this wonderful book by John Piper is one of the first ones I picked up. If you have not read this book, I highly recommend it.

God Is the Gospel provides a good and helpful walk through the gospel message in a way that many Christians might not understand. In a church that is saturated with man-centered theology and ministry, Piper redirects our thoughts to God and reminds us that the gospel is primarily about God and His glory. Drawing from truths read in John Owen and (of course!) Jonathan Edwards, Piper walks through all the blessings of the gospel, including justification, sanctification, and glorification, and shows how these gifts of the gospel were meant to ultimately provide us with the opportunity to see and savor God. The gospel is not as much about making much of us as it is about making much of Christ.

Thus, Piper asks a significant and poignant question: If you could go to heaven after you die and experience all its wonderful blessings -- the absence of pain, the perfect fellowship of the saints, streets of gold -- except that God was not there, would you be content to remain there? Sadly for most Christians, this would be acceptible because they do not treasure God in their lives as much as they treasure the blessings and gifts God provides. Salvation from sin is an amazing gift, but it was not given as an end to itself. It was given as a means to enjoy God forever. This is what the Apostle John meant when he wrote, "And we know that the Son of God has come, and has given us understanding so that we may know Him who is true; and we are in Him who is true, in His Son Jesus Christ. This is the true God and eternal life" (1 John 5:20). Christ came and gave us understanding so that we may know Him who is true. The purpose was to know God, not just His salvation blessings.

I encourage all to pick up and read this book. Read it along with John Owen's amazing book The Glory of Christ and fill your minds with meditations of Christ. It is in the face of Christ that we are to see God's glory. This is why Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 4:6, "For God, who said, 'Light shall shine out of darkness,' is the One who has shone in our hearts to give the Light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ." God Is the Gospel serves as a wonderful commentary of this foundational verse.