What Is Wrong With This Picture?

I can't help but have to vent a bit here in response to what should be seen as a time to not only grieve in the passing away of my father-in-law but an opportunity to minister to my mother-in-law, my wife and her siblings, the grandchildren, and for those who truly loved and appreciated my father-in-law. But Korean church protocol is more concerned about pleasing some hierarchical structure, having to maintain the "honor" of those who are supposedly deserving of the responsibility of presiding over the funeral ceremonies, forgetting that a funeral is not about them!! Even when someone has died, people will twist it into an opportunity for their own self-gain and it just sickens me to think that someone would take advantage of a time where there is grieving and mourning to take place and all they can think of is to promote themselves and just observe ceremonial protocol. I am all for having order and structure but this is ridiculous.

God's glory is at stake both in life and in death and the church should always and only be about the work of bringing God's glory to the forefront. It should be about ministering to the bereaved widow and finding ways to share the love of Christ with one who is suffered a tremendous loss. It should be about encouraging and supporting the family members who will feel the loss most keenly. Instead, there are "requests" for a restaurant reservation to be made to feed those who are going to the funeral, I suppose to "thank" them for their coming. I can't see anywhere in Scripture where the bereaved is to be more concerned about feeding the guests - this isn't a wedding! If anything, the church should be feeding the bereaved!! They are the ones who have suffered the loss and are busy going about the business of having to take care of funeral arrangements and covering costs related to the funeral. But I can't help but see those who are more concerned with form and have absolutely no care for the reality of the situation.

Protocol is not what is most important - people's genuine needs are!! Romans 12:13 calls us to be "contributing to the needs of the saints, practicing hospitality." You don't insist other to do this - you do this!! To me, a pastor who makes a "request", especially on the day of the actual death, to make sure that the guests are fed, is a pastor who is not fit for the work of caring for the flock. The Scriptures call the church to suffer when a member suffers, to celebrate when one has reason to celebrate. It doesn't bilk them and take advantage of them, especially during a time of need. The pastor, of all people in the church, needs to be giving ministry, not asking for it. God help us!

I know there might not be malicious intent involved (at least I would hope not), but ignorance is not an excuse for irresponsible behavior on the part of those who say they shepherd the flock. Please pray for me, pray that I would exercise humility and wisdom and not just be angry. Pray that as we have the funeral services for my father-in-law that the greatest priority would be to point all the attention and all the glory to the Savior. Pray that I would also have the boldness to speak the truth of the gospel to those who really need to hear it. Pray that I would walk in the Spirit and honor the memory of my father-in-law, encourage my mother-in-law, and support Angela and my brothers-in-law and sister-in-law during this time of loss.

Jesus, help me.

DTR2 Preview - Part 2

When people think about dating, I believe that the majority are way too short-sighted. Most are only thinking of the immediate context, focusing on how they "feel" now and how things "match" and how "similar" they should be, not giving consideration to the fact that feelings change, what seemed to match and provide for similarities becomes that which many complain and wish they could change later in their partner.

Watching couples who have been married for a long time should be an exercise that all should consider before even thinking about dating. In reading the biography of D. Martin Lloyd-Jones, I took some time just to glance at all the photos that are in both volumes and one thing that I was really interested in was just watching how he and his wife Bethan looked like together over the years. As they both aged, the one thing that went through my mind was, "Wow! I hope that when I get all old and wrinkled that Angela would stick with me though I won't look the same when I was younger." It's when you look at older couples that you realize that a relationship is not about "magic" or feeling attraction or how well you fit together. It simply comes down to a commitment to genuinely love one another. As the years go by, true love doesn't become stale, it just deepens. It transcends the superficial and becomes a bonding of the soul. You don't look at each other so much because you are impressed with what they can do for you or how they look so much as it is that you just really love your spouse with all your heart and you just love being with them and sharing everything in life with them. It affects all that you do - your faith in Christ is shared, your service in the church is shared, your nurturing of the marriage covenant is shared, your parenting of the children is shared, your future hopes and dreams are shared, and even the mundane things in life become a joy because they are shared - an ice cream cone, a slice of watermelon at the park at 10pm in Florence, Italy, a cup of coffee at McDonald's (or Starbucks on a fancy date =).

When I look back at my college years and think about the stage of dating with Angela, I look back with some degree of wonder that I didn't just blow everything with my stupidity. But there was one thing that was in the back of my mind more than anything else when I contemplated my relationship with Angela. Yes, she was physically attractive (actually, she was just plain hot!!) Yes, she had a vivacious personality and was great to hang around with. Yes, she was athletic - we played football together one time and she juked a guy with a shoulder fake while she was the tailback - boy was I impressed! Yes, she was actively involved in her church and faithfully serving the Lord. But the most important thing that I thought of when I was with her was that I just wanted to love her and serve her and take care of her the best I could by the grace of God. Someone asked me back then if I was sure that Angela was the right one. All I could reply was that I couldn't say that I knew that, but I knew that I wanted to love her as the right one.

As a pastor-to-be, I had a very bleak future to offer. Not much money, not much comfort, a whole lot of struggles from financial to relational. A lot of dealings with people, and difficult people at that. Most likely a whole lot of heartaches and troubles, not to mention my own precarious health - my blindness, my bad back, neck, knees, ankles, allergies, proneness to injury. Coming from a very typical Korean family with a huge extended family straight out of Korean video drama series. So I can't really say there was a whole lot going for me to make a long-term relationship very attractive.

Fast forward almost 18 years later. I thought I was in love with Angela back in 1986, when I first started dating her. I thought I was in love on April 2, 1988 when I proposed to her in Oceanside at a park (a foreshadowing of San Diego??). I thought I was in love on June 10, 1989 when we walked the aisle at Grace Community Church in front of 1200+ guests (what a crazy wedding!). I thought I was in love when our first daughter was born on January 31, 1992. I thought I was in love with each succeeding child (August 13, 1995, September 27, 1999, and September 17, 2005). But tonight I look at Angela and just can't help but say I really love her more than I have ever loved her and it's not so much about attraction (though I still really am attracted to her) and it's not so much about looks (more for her looking at me than anything as I have increased in girth since my slim days at UCLA) and it's not because I offer her a lot of nice things in life (just a couple of cross-country jaunts, torture sessions through a couple of Korean church fiascos, and making her run a gauntlet of ministry roles) but it's really just because I love being with her. I love laughing with her. I love just holding her hands and walking together as I swing her arms really high (this started back while we were dating). I love talking with her about anything (and I know she must love me because now I talk way too much, especially about crazy ideas, church problems, and my venting sessions with difficult people, not to mention my weekly sermons of an hour length or more). I love it when I see her ministering to people and sharing the love of Christ with them. I love watching her hold Olivia and watching her feed her patiently. I love watching her get excited at Jenna's basketball games or Kara's soccer games. I love watching her dote over our little ballerina Alyssa. I am in awe of her ability to handle the kids daily (I am about to pass out just watching them for half a day). As I look at her sleeping now after an exhausting trip to LA to help her mom and to get the funeral arrangements made, I am just happy to have her next to me as I go to bed and when I wake up, I just get to look at her face.

Dating is more than just about "falling in love" and "feeling the magic." Dating is more than just gving way to your sexual desires. Dating is to be those first steps of a journey that you hope to see continue for decades, growing old together, growing in your love for Christ together, growing in your love for one another together, living and forgiving daily as we walk this planet. It's not just about raising kids but it's about loving them and showing them the love of Christ to His church through our marriage. It's about sharing the gospel together with our children so that they can come to know the Savior and have the hope of eternal life. It's about cheering each other on and celebrating all of life together and holding each other up in times of sorrow.

I get so sad when I hear about dating couples that just can't seem to hold it together. They lose sight of Christ, they get emotionally carried away, and some just go way past the appropriate bounds of purity and compromise their whole future away for the sake of some momentary pleasure. This is truly settling for, as C.S. Lewis so aptly puts it, for mud pies in the slums when you can have a holiday at the beach. You are too easily satisfied with so little when God intended there to be so much more.

The whole point of this post? For those of you who are single, don't just get caught up in the moment. Think about the one that you are dating, or hope to date. Can you see yourself with them 5 years from now? What does the picture look like? How about 10 years from now? How about 15 years from now? Can you see a true bonding of the souls? Can you see a weaving of two lives into one flesh so that life is not about "me" but "we"? Can you imagine yourself 30-40 years down the road and while everything else starts to fall apart (the joints, the hair, etc.), your love for each other won't?

Don't settle for mud. Go for the beach. Look to set up a dynasty together, not a one-night stand.
It isn't worth settling for anything less than God's best - the love of Christ for His church (Ephesians 5:22-33). If you don't seek that, you shouldn't date. Period.

Limbo?

I read an interesting article today on Yahoo! news that I thought might interest some people. The Catholic News Service has announced that the Roman Catholic Church has published an article, "The Hope of Salvation for Infants Who Die Without Being Baptised," officially dropping the belief in Limbo. For centuries now, the RCC has taught from tradition that Limbo was a place where infants went if they died before being baptized. Though this doctrine was taught in Catholic tradition, the RCC claims it was merely a hypothesis which never became an official Catholic tenet.

At the same time, the RCC wanted to clarify that in no way should this move be interpreted as taking emphasis away from the importance of baptism. According to the RCC, baptism is still necessary to remove original sin and receive God's saving grace. This is undoubtedly still one of the major points of discrepancy between Catholics and evangelicals today. Though there are some who call themselves "evangelicals" who wish to believe that Catholics and Christians essentially believe the same thing when it comes to soteriology, the RCC's Catechism clearly shows how Roman Catholicism teaches a gospel that is entirely different.

Here is some information about Roman Catholic baptism and salvation according to the RCC Catechism:

1257 "The Lord himself affirms that Baptism is necessary for salvation. He also commands his disciples to proclaim the Gospel to all nations and to baptize them. Baptism is necessary for salvation for those to whom the Gospel has been proclaimed and who have had the possibility of asking for this sacrament. The Church does not know of any means other than Baptism that assures entry into eternal beatitude; this is why she takes care not to neglect the mission she has received from the Lord to see that all who can be baptized are 'reborn of water and the Spirit.' God has bound salvation to the sacrament of Baptism, but he himself is not bound by his sacraments."

1263 "By Baptism all sins are forgiven, original sin and all personal sins, as well as all punishment for sin. In those who have been reborn nothing remains that would impede their entry into the Kingdom of God, neither Adam's sin, nor personal sin, nor the consequences of sin, the gravest of which is separation from God."

The grace infused in a person at baptism is lost when that person commits a grave or mortal sin. Acts of penance are thus necessary to bring that person back into reconciliation with God and the Church.

1446 "Christ instituted the sacrament of Penance for all sinful members of his Church: above all for those who, since Baptism, have fallen into grave sin, and have thus lost their baptismal grace and wounded ecclesial communion. It is to them that the sacrament of Penance offers a new possibility to convert and to recover the grace of justification. The Fathers of the Church present this sacrament as 'the second plank [of salvation] after the shipwreck which is the loss of grace.'"

From the Council of Trent: "As a means of regaining grace and justice, penance was at all times necessary for those who had defiled their souls with any mortal sin. . . . Before the coming of Christ, penance was not a sacrament, nor is it since His coming a sacrament for those who are not baptized. But the Lord then principally instituted the Sacrament of Penance, when, being raised from the dead, he breathed upon His disciples saying: 'Receive ye the Holy Ghost. Whose sins you shall forgive, they are forgiven them; and whose sins you shall retain, they are retained' (John 20:22-23). By which action so signal and words so clear the consent of all the Fathers has ever understood that the power of forgiving and retaining sins was communicated to the Apostles and to their lawful successors, for the reconciling of the faithful who have fallen after Baptism" (Sess. XIV, c. i).

Reflections of Life in the Face of Death

My father-in-law passed away this afternoon. It was one of those phone calls that I have always dreaded receiving, finding out that someone precious has passed away. A lot of personal thoughts are going through my mind and heart, but those are not the ones that are appropriate to share yet. The more appropriate subject that I thought I might share is that when death takes place and it hits home that we are all mortal, I can't help but think about the reality of God. It just really strikes you that death really does happen. A life ends and you must face the very real question as to why death happens. Without God, there really is no solid ground to stand on. There is no objective purpose for life and there is also no objective explanation for death. An existentialist might just dispassionately state that life is over, that this life is all there is. The materialist might state something similar, that there is really nothing beyond the physical realm so death is just the last stop. Those who are religious might purport some idea that death is just a step to another realm, whether it be reincarnation, the state of Nirvana, some heavenly realm, or some other esoteric state. But there is still no explanation as to WHY death occurs.

It is here that the person of God as seen in the Scriptures declares the CLEAR reason for death. It is the penalty for sin. Romans 6:23 states that the wages of sin is death. As we are all sinners, we have offended the Most Holy God and His righteousness and justice call for eternal condemnation for having defied our Creator. Some might ask why must God be so harsh? It seems unfair. But it is not an issue of fairness. It goes back to the point of reference from where you start. If you really see God for who He is, that He is the one that defines the standards of right and wrong, that He is the sovereign authority over all of creation, He has every right to exercise that authority and He does so in conjunction with all His attributes equally exercised and never compromised, including His grace, His mercy, and His love. That's why the second half of Romans 6:23 is what gives great hope - "but the free gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord." Despite the fact that we are sinners (Romans 5:8), God sent His Son to die on our behalf. In taking our place, Christ paid the penalty and satisfied the wages of sin by dying the death that we deserved. This is what we call the truth of penal substitutionary atonement. God's justice is satisfied by His own grace being extended through the gift of His Son.

Physical death awaits us all. But spiritual death need not be our end. That is why the gospel is so powerful - it is the power of God unto salvation. Jesus Christ is our only hope. He is the One that we cling to in life and the one we cling to in death. It is not because we place our hopes in our own merits but we trust solely in the completed work of Christ, His death and resurrection, in the imputation of Christ's righteousness to us so that we might be justified in the sight of God.

That is why as Christians we remind ourselves of the gospel daily because it is something that is not only effective in dealing with our past, it is what anchors us in the present and secures our future. So death no longer needs to be feared. It has lost its sting and while there is a certain and understandable human grief that is experienced when someone dies, we rest on the sure arms of Christ in that He has conquered sin and death and His resurrection ensures our own.

There must be a greater sense of urgency in sharing the gospel. Death is not something that comes conveniently. It comes unannounced and while most people assume that they might have a long life to live before death needs to be faced, recent events have made clear that this is not true. Those students and professors at Virginia Tech woke up that fateful day, not knowing it would be their last day alive. The tragedy that compounds the physical deaths is that there are still so many who are unmoved by the reality of sin that results in death. The only answer to sin and death is the gospel and we must share the hope of the gospel urgently.

So stop wasting your life, vainly pursuing the things of this world. Heed the wisdom of Solomon, who wasted years of his life chasing after the wind, only to come back to His Creator and give the exhortation of one who had much to regret, "Remember your Creator in the days of your youth!!"

So there are tears to be shed and grief to be observed. But it need not be without hope. We have Christ, and to live is Christ, and to die is gain.

Reflections on the Virginia Tech Shooting

The nation has been mourning this past week over the murders of the thirty-two students and teachers at Virginia Tech. It is one of those tragedies that will not be soon forgotten. The messages left by the killer stunned people because of the intense hatred communicated by his words and tone. NBC News president, Steve Capus, in an interview on NBC's "Today," spoke about the decision to air some of the contents of the videos left by the killer: "Ever since we heard the first reports about what happened on that campus, we all wanted to know — and I’m not sure we’ll ever fully understand — why this happened, but I do think this is as close as we’ll come to having a glimpse inside the mind of a killer." The one question that seemed to be going through everyone's minds was, "What could drive a person to do such a thing?"

It is horrific that someone would choose to plan an attack and open fire on a university campus. And it is definitely a tragedy that so many lost their lives in what seems like senseless killing. Whatever the killer's intentions and motives, people seem to be taken aback by the rage and resentment through which he acted.

One thing, though, that crimes like this bring to mind is the thorough sinfulness of man. I understand that generally people strive to live in respect for one another. Kindness is taught as a virtue and love is the overarching social aspiration. But there is an issue of worldview communicated in this that is contrary to what the Scriptures teach. The overall feel of society is that people are generally good and deserve good things. So when a student decides to kill his fellow classmates, people react in horror and shock.

What eludes most people is the reality that every human being has the same propensity to hatred. Thank God it is not manifested in the same way or applied with the same intensity, but nonetheless, it remains in the human heart. Why would someone harbor so much hatred to the point they would be willing to gun down 32 people? The ultimate answer is because of the utter sinfulness of his heart. It is difficult to admit that all people share this same sinfulness in light of these tragedies, but still true.

Seeing the ugliness of sin manifested in the way it was at Virginia Tech makes me look with wonder to a perfect and holy God who would forgive men for sin. This is the condition and ugliness of every human heart and so it magnifies the grace of God shown through the cross of Christ. Of course it is not to say that all men would express that sinfulness the same way, and certainly God is just to punish sinners for heinous crimes such as this, but the delusion that most people are good and that people like Seung-Hui Cho are unfortunate exceptions is misleading.

Hopefully the shootings at Virginia Tech will not cause people to reflect on how much better they are than the killer, but that the human heart in general is really capable of tremendously horrific acts. Hopefully it will open people's eyes to see their need for Jesus who alone can save and cleanse the human heart. I think most people would say in defense, "I'm nothing like that killer." Of course not all people are equally guilty in the way they demonstrate their wickedness as protrayed in the shooting. But the Bible teaches that all people have in the heart the same root problem.