Marriage is a scary proposition for many to consider. But what is amazing to me is how many Christians do not really seek God's truth regarding marriage but look to their own feelings and emotions to guide them in making decisions. Many will place intuition and things like compatibility and personality issues as the primary factors in making a decision and wait for lightning to strike. This is the so-called "magic" that people look for and while I will not deny that there is some element of subjectivity, it seems a bit odd that many will dismiss seeking God's Word for guidance regarding marriage and instead look for the "magic."
This is seen in the whole world of dating where both men and women use worldly wisdom, if you could even call it wisdom, to make their decisions on what makes for a good partner. There are those who would entertain having a dating relationship with a non-believer. Scripture is clear on this point and while I sort of addressed it in passing, I realized that for some, they might have though it was just my opinion. It is not.
2 Corinthians 6:14-15
Do not be bound with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness? Or what harmony has Christ with Belial, or what has a believer with an unbeliever?
If you are thinking of entering into a relationship with an unbeliever just because you feel there is some "magic", you are truly deceived by the illusion that there could be a genuine and intimate love relationship that would be to the glory of God. How could you engage in a relationship with thoughts of marriage when marriage is to reflect the relationship between Christ and His bride, the church? If you do not agree on the most important issue of your standing with God, how will you have anything else in common that is of significance? You might enjoy the same music, have the same hobbies, and feel like you "click" but if the foundations are not built on the same Rock, I don't care how compatible you feel, e-harmony tests notwithstanding.
For the Christian man or woman who is seriously contemplating a dating relationship, you cannot consider it without seeing it as a trajectory toward marriage. That's why you can't afford on some subjective "magic" to be your primary guide. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and DO NOT LEAN ON YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING!! (Proverbs 3:5). In ALL YOUR WAYS acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths (Proverbs 3:5). I would take it that God intended this to be true even to this day and that it would include all things, including dating.
I find it a bit strange that those who would say they are Christians are less inclined to trust God and more inclined to trust human wisdom, when there has been more than enough evidence as to its failures. Just go to your local bookstore and check out the section on relationships and it is chock full of nonsense.
This is not to say that Christians automatically have everything work out perfectly, even though they might try their best to follow the right path. We live in a sinful world and even the most sincere Christians are not able to see everthing clearly. Yet we find hope in the sovereignty of God that He causes all things to work together for good. This is not an excuse to justify willful disobedience to God's Word - that is simply unacceptable. You should never presume on the grace of God to get away with sin. But it is to say that as you do trust in the Lord with all your heart, He will never give you something that you can't handle (1 Cor. 10:13) and He will provide all you need to make it through.
So instead of looking to illusions and deceptions, look to the God of truth who not only created the institution of marriage, but has the means by which to get there in a way that is consistent with His will.
Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
The Crystal Clear Truth About Marriage
This past Saturday we had Chris and Nelly's wedding at the Crystal Cathedral, home of the self-esteem "gospel" and the "Hour of Power" sermons that have been on TV for as long as I can remember (though I don't have any TV connection now so I might be outdated). The people there were very nice, in fact, were very helpful and even funny. The church was not as big as I thought it would be but the inside had an impressive Sony jumbotron and it really was a big glass castle like I thought it would be. The men's restroom was equally impressive, especially now after looking at blueprints for restrooms in consideration of our new facilities. I would have to say it was easily the most impressive wedding site I've presided over, with the dramatic rising of the sidewalls (though I didn't see it) and the fountain shooting high at the entry of the bride.
I was a little nervous as I anticipated the handoff from Pastor Bob as he was doing the introduction. I had written my notes word-for-word (if you didn't notice) because I often get nervous at weddings and don't want to just ramble. I also was told that we had to get everything done in 30 minutes, so there was a real time constraint that put a considerable amount of pressure. There is always one thing that I do try these days at weddings and that is to make sure that the gospel message is somehow integrated. With the passage from Ephesians 5:22-33, it was an easy transition to make since being married is all about glorifying Jesus Christ and to point people to the Savior at a wedding only makes sense since a Christian wedding is exactly about making Christ the focal point.
But it's one thing to think about how those who are of a different theological persuasion might think. In studying 1 John, the one thing that has been sticking out to me is how important it is to be discerning for the purpose of honoring Jesus, not just to win a debate. It's even more than being able to point out false teaching - it's about pointing to the One who is the authoritative teacher of truth as He is the Truth.
Getting married is more than just about a man and a woman getting together. It is about a man and a woman getting together so that Jesus Christ would be magnified in their lives being together as a reflection of the relationship between Christ and His bride, the church. This really changes everything. It should remind the man that he is to love his wife like Christ loves the church. This is not just some cheap sappy love leeched off of movie scenes. This is about true, sacrificial love that seeks to sanctify and nurture and cherish someone day in and day out, regardless of the circumstances that might come. It is to look at Christ and in Him see the ultimate model of true love (not Princess Bride). For the woman it is to submit to her husband in a loving and respectful way that the church is to do before Christ. Admittedly this is not anywhere near what the world would see as desirable but because of Christ, it is not only the most profitable, it is the most glorifying to Christ. It is here that we must really ask ourselves if we really believe this to be true. Do we really value Christ so much that all things are done in reference to Him? Or do we still look, however subtly, for some kind of self-gratification at the expense of Christ receiving the firstfruits of our heart?
In anticipation of our DTR2 series which should come this fall, I want to remind those of you who read this (all 5 of you) to really think carefully about how you view marriage. I believe that there are too many people who still have worldly worldview when it comes to marriage and even though you might acknowledge what the Bible has to say, when it comes to the actual planning of a wedding and the preparation for a life time, there are sadly many who are still so very far away from having Jesus be Lord over their life in the practical things of life. While we might say that we adhere to true Biblical teaching, many people's lives would contradict that if examined carefully.
It is definitely one thing to combat false teaching with the truth of God's Word. It is another thing to confirm the preciousness of God's truth by abiding in it. Whether in marriage, whether in the work place, whether in friendships, whether in the local church, as believers we are called to make Christ the crown jewel which shines brightly for all the world to see.
This is the crystal clear truth. Don't look to a crystal buildling. Look to the precious treasure of Jesus Christ.
I was a little nervous as I anticipated the handoff from Pastor Bob as he was doing the introduction. I had written my notes word-for-word (if you didn't notice) because I often get nervous at weddings and don't want to just ramble. I also was told that we had to get everything done in 30 minutes, so there was a real time constraint that put a considerable amount of pressure. There is always one thing that I do try these days at weddings and that is to make sure that the gospel message is somehow integrated. With the passage from Ephesians 5:22-33, it was an easy transition to make since being married is all about glorifying Jesus Christ and to point people to the Savior at a wedding only makes sense since a Christian wedding is exactly about making Christ the focal point.
But it's one thing to think about how those who are of a different theological persuasion might think. In studying 1 John, the one thing that has been sticking out to me is how important it is to be discerning for the purpose of honoring Jesus, not just to win a debate. It's even more than being able to point out false teaching - it's about pointing to the One who is the authoritative teacher of truth as He is the Truth.
Getting married is more than just about a man and a woman getting together. It is about a man and a woman getting together so that Jesus Christ would be magnified in their lives being together as a reflection of the relationship between Christ and His bride, the church. This really changes everything. It should remind the man that he is to love his wife like Christ loves the church. This is not just some cheap sappy love leeched off of movie scenes. This is about true, sacrificial love that seeks to sanctify and nurture and cherish someone day in and day out, regardless of the circumstances that might come. It is to look at Christ and in Him see the ultimate model of true love (not Princess Bride). For the woman it is to submit to her husband in a loving and respectful way that the church is to do before Christ. Admittedly this is not anywhere near what the world would see as desirable but because of Christ, it is not only the most profitable, it is the most glorifying to Christ. It is here that we must really ask ourselves if we really believe this to be true. Do we really value Christ so much that all things are done in reference to Him? Or do we still look, however subtly, for some kind of self-gratification at the expense of Christ receiving the firstfruits of our heart?
In anticipation of our DTR2 series which should come this fall, I want to remind those of you who read this (all 5 of you) to really think carefully about how you view marriage. I believe that there are too many people who still have worldly worldview when it comes to marriage and even though you might acknowledge what the Bible has to say, when it comes to the actual planning of a wedding and the preparation for a life time, there are sadly many who are still so very far away from having Jesus be Lord over their life in the practical things of life. While we might say that we adhere to true Biblical teaching, many people's lives would contradict that if examined carefully.
It is definitely one thing to combat false teaching with the truth of God's Word. It is another thing to confirm the preciousness of God's truth by abiding in it. Whether in marriage, whether in the work place, whether in friendships, whether in the local church, as believers we are called to make Christ the crown jewel which shines brightly for all the world to see.
This is the crystal clear truth. Don't look to a crystal buildling. Look to the precious treasure of Jesus Christ.
Thursday, March 29, 2007
The Importance of Your Weltanschauung
What does it mean to have a Christian worldview? The German word "weltanschauung" stands for the idea of a "worldview" and many of the noted philosophers are known for very strong worldviews that influenced many to live in such a way that reflected a particular worldview. Adolf Hitler, for one, was tremendously influenced by Nietzche, and World War 2 was a result.
I think many of us underestimate the importance of having a God-centered worldview as we consider the various aspects of life. For many, the issue of education, vocation, marriage, parenting, and even the role of church in life is governed by what a person's worldview is.
For many who grow up in an Asian culture, there is a very strong undercurrent of Confucian ideology that governs the mindset of how one values the importance of various things in life and it is especially seen in the parent/child relationship. Though some parents would claim to be Christians, even as leaders in a church, there is a strange absence of a high view of God and often there is a manipulating of Scripture to serve a man-centered goal, whether it be related to the pursuit of a particular major in college or the pursuit of a specific vocation, namely those of the "doctor, lawyer, engineer" variety. Not that those roles are inherently wrong in themselves, but it is the motivation and intention behind the pursuit of such roles that often reveal the greed and the self-serving mindset that pursues the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the boastful pride of life as warned in 1 John 2. There are even times when some might appeal to the glory of God being served by pursuing such ends. But down the road we often see what is revealed to be the true heart and intention behind the pursuit of success. It is not the glory of God. It is the pursuit of self-glory and self-fulfillment at the expense of the glory of God.
I would see this happen many times working with college students who would enter their first year idealistic and would even go as far as to admit that they were not balanced in how they handled their spiritual priorities but would always reassure me that they would take care of them later after they graduated, got settled in their jobs, and became successful. They would often add that they would give a lot of money to God, assuming that they would make a lot of money. But this is sadly not the case. I have seen what success does to people and it more often draws them away from God rather than toward God. And this is due to their worldview ultimately being about themselves in the center.
It is also seen in addressing the issue of marriage, where instead of seeking to honor God by reflecting the love relationship between Christ and His church, marriage is seen as a self-seeking opportunity for social-economic advancement. There is little preparation and education given regarding the biblical purpose for marriage and it is no wonder that many marriages suffer immediately with much trauma, often leading to stale relationships that teeter on the brink of divorce, often tipping over when the differences become "irreconcilable."
What really draws some ire from my perspective is when I see so-called Christian parents, who in the name of "thinking of their child's best" would show absolutely no concept of God's glory being at stake. Rather there is some "practical" advice about a certain criteria having to be upheld to "protect" their child when in fact it is all about their own pride.
It is not wrong for someone to go to a good school. It is not wrong for someone to choose a particular vocational path. Neither it is wrong to marry within your own ethnicity or age range. But to insist that certain things are "God's will" when they really are not, I believe, is a travesty that many parents are imposing on their children, often with a subtle (or even not so subtle) threat of disownment. It is portrayed as an issue of "honoring" parents, even "obeying." Now I am not suggesting that there should be a full-scale rebellion just thrown back. But I think there must be a line clearly drawn when a worldview is being revealed for what it is, a man-centered pursuit of worldly success and approval as opposed to God's kingdom and righteousness.
More about this later. Our Single Life retreat this weekend will be on "My Father's World - Building a Biblical Worldview" so I'll have a lot more to say about this in the days to come.
Three entries in one day!! I'm starting to feel like Al Mohler =) But no way can I keep up with his pace. I'll stay at being John Kim, one of many.
I think many of us underestimate the importance of having a God-centered worldview as we consider the various aspects of life. For many, the issue of education, vocation, marriage, parenting, and even the role of church in life is governed by what a person's worldview is.
For many who grow up in an Asian culture, there is a very strong undercurrent of Confucian ideology that governs the mindset of how one values the importance of various things in life and it is especially seen in the parent/child relationship. Though some parents would claim to be Christians, even as leaders in a church, there is a strange absence of a high view of God and often there is a manipulating of Scripture to serve a man-centered goal, whether it be related to the pursuit of a particular major in college or the pursuit of a specific vocation, namely those of the "doctor, lawyer, engineer" variety. Not that those roles are inherently wrong in themselves, but it is the motivation and intention behind the pursuit of such roles that often reveal the greed and the self-serving mindset that pursues the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the boastful pride of life as warned in 1 John 2. There are even times when some might appeal to the glory of God being served by pursuing such ends. But down the road we often see what is revealed to be the true heart and intention behind the pursuit of success. It is not the glory of God. It is the pursuit of self-glory and self-fulfillment at the expense of the glory of God.
I would see this happen many times working with college students who would enter their first year idealistic and would even go as far as to admit that they were not balanced in how they handled their spiritual priorities but would always reassure me that they would take care of them later after they graduated, got settled in their jobs, and became successful. They would often add that they would give a lot of money to God, assuming that they would make a lot of money. But this is sadly not the case. I have seen what success does to people and it more often draws them away from God rather than toward God. And this is due to their worldview ultimately being about themselves in the center.
It is also seen in addressing the issue of marriage, where instead of seeking to honor God by reflecting the love relationship between Christ and His church, marriage is seen as a self-seeking opportunity for social-economic advancement. There is little preparation and education given regarding the biblical purpose for marriage and it is no wonder that many marriages suffer immediately with much trauma, often leading to stale relationships that teeter on the brink of divorce, often tipping over when the differences become "irreconcilable."
What really draws some ire from my perspective is when I see so-called Christian parents, who in the name of "thinking of their child's best" would show absolutely no concept of God's glory being at stake. Rather there is some "practical" advice about a certain criteria having to be upheld to "protect" their child when in fact it is all about their own pride.
It is not wrong for someone to go to a good school. It is not wrong for someone to choose a particular vocational path. Neither it is wrong to marry within your own ethnicity or age range. But to insist that certain things are "God's will" when they really are not, I believe, is a travesty that many parents are imposing on their children, often with a subtle (or even not so subtle) threat of disownment. It is portrayed as an issue of "honoring" parents, even "obeying." Now I am not suggesting that there should be a full-scale rebellion just thrown back. But I think there must be a line clearly drawn when a worldview is being revealed for what it is, a man-centered pursuit of worldly success and approval as opposed to God's kingdom and righteousness.
More about this later. Our Single Life retreat this weekend will be on "My Father's World - Building a Biblical Worldview" so I'll have a lot more to say about this in the days to come.
Three entries in one day!! I'm starting to feel like Al Mohler =) But no way can I keep up with his pace. I'll stay at being John Kim, one of many.
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