Christine and I just celebrated our second anniversary this past Monday up in Seattle. It was a really low key event. We just went out for dessert and coffee and spent a little time talking and evaluating our marriage. It was a great weekend because we were also with family and had a lot of time with Mom and Dad and my brother David.
During our conversation on Monday, one of the topics that came up was about all the experiences we had with the people we previously had liked romantically and/or had been rejected by. We had some good laughs talking about junior high and high school crushes and shared some amusing stories. It dawned on me, though, that I always talk about the sovereignty of God in directing us in our relationships, and surely we could see now how God had been orchestrating our lives through these different experiences. But really it is the kindness of God that keeps us from the ones who were never intended to be our "significant other." God was kind to not answer my prayers favorably all those years in elementary school, junior high, high school, and college. It is not to say that these girls were not good girls (some of them were and still are remarkable girls). It is that He knew what was best for me, that it would be better to save me for Christine. And it was His kindness demonstrated.
I think this mentality helps because it can sound cold to remind people that God is sovereign when they just get rejected by someone else in the pursuit of a relationship. (Certainly the sovereignty of God should be a comforting and wonderful doctrine, but it can be received wrongly.) What a great reminder that His sovereignty works together with His kindness for our good and His glory. So, Christine and I toasted our coffees on Monday night to the kindness of God in not granting us what we had prayed for in the past and causing us to wait until we had met each other.
Happy 2nd anniversary, Christine! I praise God for His kindness to me.
Friday, October 26, 2007
Monday, October 22, 2007
In the Line of Fire
It was four years ago almost to the week that we faced the fires that hit San Diego pretty hard. I remember driving through the 15 freeway heading south to the church office (off of Convoy at the time) on my way to teach a baptism class when I drove right through a firewall, which had to be one of the more scary moments of my life as everything turned pitch black and the heat was pretty intense. After what seemed like forever, I saw daylight and drove through and it was an eerie feeling. We had to move our church service that day to someone's home and looking off into the distance, it was pretty strange to think that fires could do so much to change the course of how we look at life.
This morning I was awakened to find that we had to evacuate our home and after packing some things, we moved over to Scripps Ranch, only to find that we had to evacuate from there as well. Moving to the coast in La Jolla, the day has been pretty much filled with trying to coordinate the church members in finding homes for all the people who have had to evacuate.
Though it is pretty hectic considering all that is going on, I can't help but thank God for His grace and goodness in how the church family is responding with every effort being made to help provide shelter and care for one another. It really is great, even those who are new to the church are jumping in and offering their homes.
Dropping by the church, I couldn't help but look at all my books and realize that they would go up pretty fast in a fire. I took a few to prepare for the next coming weeks so that I would at least have a few resources but it was a bit sad looking at everything, realizing that a lifetime of collecting books could go away in a moment. But having studied Ecclesiastes these past few months, it has been sobering to understand that everything in this life is really passing in nature and without God, there would be no point to it. A life filled with plenty would be an empty life without God but a life filled with God though with little would make me a pretty rich man. These are thoughts that are not so easy to consider when one realizes that there is a very good chance you could lose your home and all your possessions, but when you realize that you're going to leave it all behind one day anyway, it doesn't seem so important after all.
What is all the more important is seeing that the love of God moves us to care for one another in time of need and I really am so thankful to have a church family that will stand in the line of fire (literally) and apply the kind of family love that we have talked about in Romans 12:10 and has been generous and hospitable and considerate in considering the needs of others.
Who knows what the next few days will bring but one thing for sure, I know that they will bring the grace of God through the love and care of our church family.
This morning I was awakened to find that we had to evacuate our home and after packing some things, we moved over to Scripps Ranch, only to find that we had to evacuate from there as well. Moving to the coast in La Jolla, the day has been pretty much filled with trying to coordinate the church members in finding homes for all the people who have had to evacuate.
Though it is pretty hectic considering all that is going on, I can't help but thank God for His grace and goodness in how the church family is responding with every effort being made to help provide shelter and care for one another. It really is great, even those who are new to the church are jumping in and offering their homes.
Dropping by the church, I couldn't help but look at all my books and realize that they would go up pretty fast in a fire. I took a few to prepare for the next coming weeks so that I would at least have a few resources but it was a bit sad looking at everything, realizing that a lifetime of collecting books could go away in a moment. But having studied Ecclesiastes these past few months, it has been sobering to understand that everything in this life is really passing in nature and without God, there would be no point to it. A life filled with plenty would be an empty life without God but a life filled with God though with little would make me a pretty rich man. These are thoughts that are not so easy to consider when one realizes that there is a very good chance you could lose your home and all your possessions, but when you realize that you're going to leave it all behind one day anyway, it doesn't seem so important after all.
What is all the more important is seeing that the love of God moves us to care for one another in time of need and I really am so thankful to have a church family that will stand in the line of fire (literally) and apply the kind of family love that we have talked about in Romans 12:10 and has been generous and hospitable and considerate in considering the needs of others.
Who knows what the next few days will bring but one thing for sure, I know that they will bring the grace of God through the love and care of our church family.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
DTR2: Waiting for Magic?
Marriage is a scary proposition for many to consider. But what is amazing to me is how many Christians do not really seek God's truth regarding marriage but look to their own feelings and emotions to guide them in making decisions. Many will place intuition and things like compatibility and personality issues as the primary factors in making a decision and wait for lightning to strike. This is the so-called "magic" that people look for and while I will not deny that there is some element of subjectivity, it seems a bit odd that many will dismiss seeking God's Word for guidance regarding marriage and instead look for the "magic."
This is seen in the whole world of dating where both men and women use worldly wisdom, if you could even call it wisdom, to make their decisions on what makes for a good partner. There are those who would entertain having a dating relationship with a non-believer. Scripture is clear on this point and while I sort of addressed it in passing, I realized that for some, they might have though it was just my opinion. It is not.
2 Corinthians 6:14-15
Do not be bound with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness? Or what harmony has Christ with Belial, or what has a believer with an unbeliever?
If you are thinking of entering into a relationship with an unbeliever just because you feel there is some "magic", you are truly deceived by the illusion that there could be a genuine and intimate love relationship that would be to the glory of God. How could you engage in a relationship with thoughts of marriage when marriage is to reflect the relationship between Christ and His bride, the church? If you do not agree on the most important issue of your standing with God, how will you have anything else in common that is of significance? You might enjoy the same music, have the same hobbies, and feel like you "click" but if the foundations are not built on the same Rock, I don't care how compatible you feel, e-harmony tests notwithstanding.
For the Christian man or woman who is seriously contemplating a dating relationship, you cannot consider it without seeing it as a trajectory toward marriage. That's why you can't afford on some subjective "magic" to be your primary guide. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and DO NOT LEAN ON YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING!! (Proverbs 3:5). In ALL YOUR WAYS acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths (Proverbs 3:5). I would take it that God intended this to be true even to this day and that it would include all things, including dating.
I find it a bit strange that those who would say they are Christians are less inclined to trust God and more inclined to trust human wisdom, when there has been more than enough evidence as to its failures. Just go to your local bookstore and check out the section on relationships and it is chock full of nonsense.
This is not to say that Christians automatically have everything work out perfectly, even though they might try their best to follow the right path. We live in a sinful world and even the most sincere Christians are not able to see everthing clearly. Yet we find hope in the sovereignty of God that He causes all things to work together for good. This is not an excuse to justify willful disobedience to God's Word - that is simply unacceptable. You should never presume on the grace of God to get away with sin. But it is to say that as you do trust in the Lord with all your heart, He will never give you something that you can't handle (1 Cor. 10:13) and He will provide all you need to make it through.
So instead of looking to illusions and deceptions, look to the God of truth who not only created the institution of marriage, but has the means by which to get there in a way that is consistent with His will.
This is seen in the whole world of dating where both men and women use worldly wisdom, if you could even call it wisdom, to make their decisions on what makes for a good partner. There are those who would entertain having a dating relationship with a non-believer. Scripture is clear on this point and while I sort of addressed it in passing, I realized that for some, they might have though it was just my opinion. It is not.
2 Corinthians 6:14-15
Do not be bound with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness? Or what harmony has Christ with Belial, or what has a believer with an unbeliever?
If you are thinking of entering into a relationship with an unbeliever just because you feel there is some "magic", you are truly deceived by the illusion that there could be a genuine and intimate love relationship that would be to the glory of God. How could you engage in a relationship with thoughts of marriage when marriage is to reflect the relationship between Christ and His bride, the church? If you do not agree on the most important issue of your standing with God, how will you have anything else in common that is of significance? You might enjoy the same music, have the same hobbies, and feel like you "click" but if the foundations are not built on the same Rock, I don't care how compatible you feel, e-harmony tests notwithstanding.
For the Christian man or woman who is seriously contemplating a dating relationship, you cannot consider it without seeing it as a trajectory toward marriage. That's why you can't afford on some subjective "magic" to be your primary guide. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and DO NOT LEAN ON YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING!! (Proverbs 3:5). In ALL YOUR WAYS acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths (Proverbs 3:5). I would take it that God intended this to be true even to this day and that it would include all things, including dating.
I find it a bit strange that those who would say they are Christians are less inclined to trust God and more inclined to trust human wisdom, when there has been more than enough evidence as to its failures. Just go to your local bookstore and check out the section on relationships and it is chock full of nonsense.
This is not to say that Christians automatically have everything work out perfectly, even though they might try their best to follow the right path. We live in a sinful world and even the most sincere Christians are not able to see everthing clearly. Yet we find hope in the sovereignty of God that He causes all things to work together for good. This is not an excuse to justify willful disobedience to God's Word - that is simply unacceptable. You should never presume on the grace of God to get away with sin. But it is to say that as you do trust in the Lord with all your heart, He will never give you something that you can't handle (1 Cor. 10:13) and He will provide all you need to make it through.
So instead of looking to illusions and deceptions, look to the God of truth who not only created the institution of marriage, but has the means by which to get there in a way that is consistent with His will.
Commitment to the Local Church
If you have been at Lighthouse for any amount of time, you will have heard at least a few messages on the importance of the local church as well as the topic of membership. It is always a bit puzzling to me why people question the importance of membership in the local church. likening it to being in a cult or legalism at best. I suppose that for many people they have not had positive church experiences so it makes sense that joining themselves to a church as a formal member is not something that sounds so enticing. But for others I think it is more an issue of not having considered the point of application in regards to all that the Scriptures call us to be and do as the body of Christ.
The argument that many will bring up is that being part of the universal body of Christ is what is significant and that the New Testament does not explicitly call for membership in a local assembly. Now it is true that the Scriptures do talk about the universal church and when we see that, we can understand that what is meant by the universal church is that all true believers in Christ throughout history make up this true body of Christ. This would encompass all believers from every part of the world at any given time. Yet the problem with limiting all references to the universal church would ignore the practical application of those passages that refer to the church, not to mention that there are many practical exhortations given as to how the church is to conduct itself.
1 Timothy 3:15
But in case I am delayed, I write so that you will know how one ought to conduct himself in the household of God, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and support of the truth.
The whole point of Paul's letter to Timothy was to provide practical instruction on how the church was to be organized and how ministry was to take place. That's why there are guidelines given in determining what roles were appropriate for women (chapter 2), the character qualifications for leadership (chapter 3), practical disciplines for the pastor (chapter 4), how to take care of widows (chapter 5), how to deal with elders (chapter 5), and dealing with false teachers (chapter 6). These are all very practical issues that must be applied somewhere and this is what distinguishes the local church from other institutions, particularly parachurch ministries.
I want to give some clarification regarding some statements that I made on Sunday so that there is no confusion. I wanted to communicate that if we are the body of Christ, we would recognize that we are to be the bride of Christ and as such, we practically carry out the call to be the bride of Christ through how we conduct ourselves as a local church. While I understand that the bride of Christ is referring to the universal church made up of all true believers, I would argue for the believer who takes the call to be a member of the body of Christ seriously would then be faithful to actively be involved in a local assembly so as to practice what the Scriptures call believers to be and do in a practical way. I do not see any way that someone can justify that just because they are part of the universal body of Christ that they are not responsible to be part of a local assembly that upholds the description of what the Scriptures call a church to be, namely that there are elders who shepherd the flock, practice the ordinances, and carry out genuine fellowship in accordance with the guidelines that are clearly presented in the Word of God.
The reason why I believe parachurches often create difficulty for some is that instead of supporting the priority of the local church, it will often compete in a way that I believe is inappropriate with that priority. College students will often give the lion's share of their time and energy to campus ministries that are independent of the local church, given that it is more convenient and often more relevant to them since it consists of their peers. The problem with many parachurch ministries is that there is often a lack of qualified leaders who provide accountability and shepherding that keeps students' lives in check. This is not to say that all parachurch ministries are like this. But there are too many students who upon graduation find themselves with a huge void in their life and even though they went to church, it was not a priority such that it carried strongly through the transition from college. There are so many students who have fallen away from the faith that they claimed to have in college that one wonders what contributed to that direction. I can't help but see that the lack of being vitally involved in a local church has contributed significantly to this end and that is why I feel very strongly about it when I address the issue.
I am sure that this is bound to upset some people as many take it as an attack on the parachurch ministry. I don't hate the parachurch. I am thankful for the role that they play. That's why I said that the parachurch ministry should be like a good friend in terms of its role in the life of a Christian. But it should not compete with the local church. It might have been a bit of a stretch for some to hear me say that being in the local church is akin to being married and that the parachurch could become kind of a mistress if it infringes on the priority of the local church. If that was offensive to some, I do apologize but at the same time the reason I stated it in such terms is because I see it having that kind of affect on some people.
I just have a few simple questions to ask those who are involved in a parachurch ministry - do you value the priority of the local church? Can you honestly say that it's not important according to Scripture? Is it justifiable to hide behind the excuse of being a part of the universal church?
I remember talking to one college student who said that he felt it was God's special calling for this particular time to be involved in the parachurch ministry and that he felt that praying for the local church was his way to be involved and since he really didn't have that much time to spare, that was all he did in relation to the local church. I was very disappointed to hear this as this was someone that I had thought had a lot of potential for ministry.
I have talked to the regional director of one of the more significant parachurch ministries in the area and when we were discussing the priority of the local church, he thought it was curious that I would frame it that way, that the local church had priority. He disagreed and again I just couldn't help but feel like it is this misguided influence, though it might be well-intentioned, simply erodes the importance of the local church's role in the life of the believer.
Now I know that not every local church is doing its part to fulfill the call that Scriptures have given and to this I can only say that we must pray for pastors and elders and church leaders to humbly confess these failures and work toward fulfilling the Biblical mandate instead of catering to the latest worldly fads that so often outright contradict the Word of God.
But at Lighthouse, I hope that you know that as a leadership, we are committed to doing everything we possible can to have this local body fulfill what the Scriptures call us to be and do.
But we can't do it without every member of the church actively participating and contributing to this end. And as far as I can see, I don't see any real viable reason why a true believer would choose NOT to be a member at a local church that is committed to a high view of God and His Word. It would seem to me that it should be the most natural decision to make, to join and commit yourself to being held accountable by the loving care of shepherds and fellow saints so that we would work together as a body with each member playing out his or her role so that the head of the church, Jesus Christ, would be glorified.
Please know my heart in this - it's not simply to make you feel guilty. It is to call you to be who you are called to be - a member of the body of Christ.
If you have questions about this issue, please feel free to talk with me as I would be more than happy to discuss it with you.
The argument that many will bring up is that being part of the universal body of Christ is what is significant and that the New Testament does not explicitly call for membership in a local assembly. Now it is true that the Scriptures do talk about the universal church and when we see that, we can understand that what is meant by the universal church is that all true believers in Christ throughout history make up this true body of Christ. This would encompass all believers from every part of the world at any given time. Yet the problem with limiting all references to the universal church would ignore the practical application of those passages that refer to the church, not to mention that there are many practical exhortations given as to how the church is to conduct itself.
1 Timothy 3:15
But in case I am delayed, I write so that you will know how one ought to conduct himself in the household of God, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and support of the truth.
The whole point of Paul's letter to Timothy was to provide practical instruction on how the church was to be organized and how ministry was to take place. That's why there are guidelines given in determining what roles were appropriate for women (chapter 2), the character qualifications for leadership (chapter 3), practical disciplines for the pastor (chapter 4), how to take care of widows (chapter 5), how to deal with elders (chapter 5), and dealing with false teachers (chapter 6). These are all very practical issues that must be applied somewhere and this is what distinguishes the local church from other institutions, particularly parachurch ministries.
I want to give some clarification regarding some statements that I made on Sunday so that there is no confusion. I wanted to communicate that if we are the body of Christ, we would recognize that we are to be the bride of Christ and as such, we practically carry out the call to be the bride of Christ through how we conduct ourselves as a local church. While I understand that the bride of Christ is referring to the universal church made up of all true believers, I would argue for the believer who takes the call to be a member of the body of Christ seriously would then be faithful to actively be involved in a local assembly so as to practice what the Scriptures call believers to be and do in a practical way. I do not see any way that someone can justify that just because they are part of the universal body of Christ that they are not responsible to be part of a local assembly that upholds the description of what the Scriptures call a church to be, namely that there are elders who shepherd the flock, practice the ordinances, and carry out genuine fellowship in accordance with the guidelines that are clearly presented in the Word of God.
The reason why I believe parachurches often create difficulty for some is that instead of supporting the priority of the local church, it will often compete in a way that I believe is inappropriate with that priority. College students will often give the lion's share of their time and energy to campus ministries that are independent of the local church, given that it is more convenient and often more relevant to them since it consists of their peers. The problem with many parachurch ministries is that there is often a lack of qualified leaders who provide accountability and shepherding that keeps students' lives in check. This is not to say that all parachurch ministries are like this. But there are too many students who upon graduation find themselves with a huge void in their life and even though they went to church, it was not a priority such that it carried strongly through the transition from college. There are so many students who have fallen away from the faith that they claimed to have in college that one wonders what contributed to that direction. I can't help but see that the lack of being vitally involved in a local church has contributed significantly to this end and that is why I feel very strongly about it when I address the issue.
I am sure that this is bound to upset some people as many take it as an attack on the parachurch ministry. I don't hate the parachurch. I am thankful for the role that they play. That's why I said that the parachurch ministry should be like a good friend in terms of its role in the life of a Christian. But it should not compete with the local church. It might have been a bit of a stretch for some to hear me say that being in the local church is akin to being married and that the parachurch could become kind of a mistress if it infringes on the priority of the local church. If that was offensive to some, I do apologize but at the same time the reason I stated it in such terms is because I see it having that kind of affect on some people.
I just have a few simple questions to ask those who are involved in a parachurch ministry - do you value the priority of the local church? Can you honestly say that it's not important according to Scripture? Is it justifiable to hide behind the excuse of being a part of the universal church?
I remember talking to one college student who said that he felt it was God's special calling for this particular time to be involved in the parachurch ministry and that he felt that praying for the local church was his way to be involved and since he really didn't have that much time to spare, that was all he did in relation to the local church. I was very disappointed to hear this as this was someone that I had thought had a lot of potential for ministry.
I have talked to the regional director of one of the more significant parachurch ministries in the area and when we were discussing the priority of the local church, he thought it was curious that I would frame it that way, that the local church had priority. He disagreed and again I just couldn't help but feel like it is this misguided influence, though it might be well-intentioned, simply erodes the importance of the local church's role in the life of the believer.
Now I know that not every local church is doing its part to fulfill the call that Scriptures have given and to this I can only say that we must pray for pastors and elders and church leaders to humbly confess these failures and work toward fulfilling the Biblical mandate instead of catering to the latest worldly fads that so often outright contradict the Word of God.
But at Lighthouse, I hope that you know that as a leadership, we are committed to doing everything we possible can to have this local body fulfill what the Scriptures call us to be and do.
But we can't do it without every member of the church actively participating and contributing to this end. And as far as I can see, I don't see any real viable reason why a true believer would choose NOT to be a member at a local church that is committed to a high view of God and His Word. It would seem to me that it should be the most natural decision to make, to join and commit yourself to being held accountable by the loving care of shepherds and fellow saints so that we would work together as a body with each member playing out his or her role so that the head of the church, Jesus Christ, would be glorified.
Please know my heart in this - it's not simply to make you feel guilty. It is to call you to be who you are called to be - a member of the body of Christ.
If you have questions about this issue, please feel free to talk with me as I would be more than happy to discuss it with you.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Defining the Relationship
I have to admit, I was expecting a good turn out Sunday evening for the first night of the "DTR Series II" by Pastor John on dating and relationships, but I wasn't expecting THAT good of a turn out! It was encouraging to see people from other churches come out to visit us to hear about how to develop a biblical worldview in dating. It was even more encouraging to see a number of married people in the audience. It's so important for married people to establish a right understanding of dating and relationships. If we are going to uphold the Titus 2 principle of older men and women instructing younger men and women, we are going to need the older ones to have a proper understanding of the biblical principles that apply to dating.
Pastor John came right out of the gate explaining the importance of laying a solid foundation of theology if you want to understand the basics about dating and relationships. This might seem like a novel approach to some. Maybe it's because they don't see the relationship between theology and something as practical and tangible as dating. But seriously, if you are not rooted in the fundamentals of theology that means you do not have an adequate understanding of the sovereignty of God. I don't know how anyone survives "the dating game" without a good understanding of God's control. It also means that you may not be living entirely with the correct focus and motivation when seeking a relationship. It also means that you might not know what it takes to find comfort when things don't go your way... and in the pursuit of a dating relationship, things often don't go your way!
I'm really looking forward to this series because it will be interesting to see how different people seek to apply its principles. Regardless of whether it leads to more budding relationships or even some couples realizing they aren't adequately prepared to continue their relationship, hopefully people will walk away with a greater sense of God's will in dating. Hopefully people will seek to honor God in their pursuit of a relationship and in the relationship itself rather than simply striving to satisfy personal desires.
Pastor John came right out of the gate explaining the importance of laying a solid foundation of theology if you want to understand the basics about dating and relationships. This might seem like a novel approach to some. Maybe it's because they don't see the relationship between theology and something as practical and tangible as dating. But seriously, if you are not rooted in the fundamentals of theology that means you do not have an adequate understanding of the sovereignty of God. I don't know how anyone survives "the dating game" without a good understanding of God's control. It also means that you may not be living entirely with the correct focus and motivation when seeking a relationship. It also means that you might not know what it takes to find comfort when things don't go your way... and in the pursuit of a dating relationship, things often don't go your way!
I'm really looking forward to this series because it will be interesting to see how different people seek to apply its principles. Regardless of whether it leads to more budding relationships or even some couples realizing they aren't adequately prepared to continue their relationship, hopefully people will walk away with a greater sense of God's will in dating. Hopefully people will seek to honor God in their pursuit of a relationship and in the relationship itself rather than simply striving to satisfy personal desires.
Monday, October 08, 2007
Intro to DTR2
It was great to see so many people come out last night to the first meeting of DTR2. I hope to post my thoughts and highlight some points so that those who weren't there might be able to have something as well. We will hope to put the messages on audio and video possibly in the future.
Deconstructing a wrong world view is something that most of us don't think about because we don't think at a world view level. We typically just think for the moment and react to situations instead of examining the foundations of our thinking and see if what we have in place is solid. Many Christians don't realize that a lot of their thinking has been impacted by worldly philosophy, deception, and the traditions of man instead of the Word of God. It's no wonder that the decision making process that many utilize is so skewed because the working parts are not healthy and primed with the truth.
Colossians 2:8 says, "See to it that no one takes you captive through philosophy and empty deception, according to the tradition of men, according to the elementary principles of the world, rather than according to Christ."
The Scriptures are clear in warning us from having the world be our primary influence. We must fight this because if we don't, we will find ourselves easily affected and distracted, not to mention deceived.
Romans 12:2 challenges us to not be conformed to this world but to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. This is really a crucial point to consider, especially when we address the issue of dating relationships. I think that too many Christians have allowed their view toward dating relationships to be molded by the world to the point where there is no discernable difference in how they conduct themselves in the pursuit of a relationship, the maintaining of a relationship, and even in the ending of a relationship.
One of the things that many Christians will bring up is that the Bible doesn't explicitly say anything about dating. While the term "dating" or the concept is not mentioned directly (because they didn't have anything like that back in the day), the principles that one must employ are clearly given in Scripture. Exercising wisdom, discerning character, practicing sexual purity, learning to resolve conflicts, and many other issues that relate to dating relationships are addressed with clear instruction from our Lord through His Word.
One of the things that I presented was the use of the Reformation principles in the Sola statements. While I know I might have taken a little liberty in transferring the ideas, the principles still remain true.
Sola Scriptura - Scripture alone
Scripture alone is to be our authority when it comes to seeking wisdom and instruction for the issue of dating. Don't fall for the tickling ear preacher who just wants you to have your "dreams come true." The Word of God alone is sufficient to teach us, reprove us, correct us, and train us in righteousness in all areas of life, including dating relationships. Don't be a fool and place your trust in something other than God's Word.
Sola Gratia - Grace alone
Just as we are saved by grace alone, we are sustained in our Christian life by grace alone. God's grace is what is sufficient for us and we need to really look to His grace in dealing with the many challenges and trials that come in life, especially in dating relationships (or the lack thereof). Just as the apostle Paul found comfort in the grace of God alone when faced with the thorns in his life, so must we lay our lives in the hands of our gracious God in facing the rough and tumble world of dating relationships.
Sola Fide - Faith alone
Trusting in the Lord is vital as we cannot afford to try and manipulate things by our own wisdom or power. When things don't work out the way we hope for, faith in our good God who makes all things work together for good is something that will never fail us.
Solus Christus - Christ alone
Just as Christ alone is the way to salvation, Christ alone must be our first love. He cannot be challenged for the supremacy of our affections. Christ alone must be Lord. Christ must be the one that we submit our lives to and there can be no other challenge to His primacy. When we get involved in dating relationships, it is easy to let our dating partner take over our every waking thought and take the place of Christ in our affections. This is such a dangerous place to go - so don't go there.
Soli Deo Gloria - God's glory alone
Just as every part of our lives is to be to God's glory, even our eating and drinking, how we approach dating relationships must be considered with God's glory being at stake. We cannot afford to let any part, no matter how minor or mundane escape this point. Too many people want to carve out portions of their life for their own glory and fulfillment, even at the expense of bringing dishonor to God's name.
Remember what Jesus said about what you build your house on. You can build your house on the rock of His words, His truth, and when the storms come, your house will stand firm because your foundation is firm. But if you build your house on the sand of worldly opinion and empty deception, you will get slammed hard by the storms of reality and great will be your fall.
Inspect your foundations now - you might find it rotting with hardly anything to hold up your life. Replace it with the sure foundation of the solid rock of Christ and His truth - you will not regret it.
Deconstructing a wrong world view is something that most of us don't think about because we don't think at a world view level. We typically just think for the moment and react to situations instead of examining the foundations of our thinking and see if what we have in place is solid. Many Christians don't realize that a lot of their thinking has been impacted by worldly philosophy, deception, and the traditions of man instead of the Word of God. It's no wonder that the decision making process that many utilize is so skewed because the working parts are not healthy and primed with the truth.
Colossians 2:8 says, "See to it that no one takes you captive through philosophy and empty deception, according to the tradition of men, according to the elementary principles of the world, rather than according to Christ."
The Scriptures are clear in warning us from having the world be our primary influence. We must fight this because if we don't, we will find ourselves easily affected and distracted, not to mention deceived.
Romans 12:2 challenges us to not be conformed to this world but to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. This is really a crucial point to consider, especially when we address the issue of dating relationships. I think that too many Christians have allowed their view toward dating relationships to be molded by the world to the point where there is no discernable difference in how they conduct themselves in the pursuit of a relationship, the maintaining of a relationship, and even in the ending of a relationship.
One of the things that many Christians will bring up is that the Bible doesn't explicitly say anything about dating. While the term "dating" or the concept is not mentioned directly (because they didn't have anything like that back in the day), the principles that one must employ are clearly given in Scripture. Exercising wisdom, discerning character, practicing sexual purity, learning to resolve conflicts, and many other issues that relate to dating relationships are addressed with clear instruction from our Lord through His Word.
One of the things that I presented was the use of the Reformation principles in the Sola statements. While I know I might have taken a little liberty in transferring the ideas, the principles still remain true.
Sola Scriptura - Scripture alone
Scripture alone is to be our authority when it comes to seeking wisdom and instruction for the issue of dating. Don't fall for the tickling ear preacher who just wants you to have your "dreams come true." The Word of God alone is sufficient to teach us, reprove us, correct us, and train us in righteousness in all areas of life, including dating relationships. Don't be a fool and place your trust in something other than God's Word.
Sola Gratia - Grace alone
Just as we are saved by grace alone, we are sustained in our Christian life by grace alone. God's grace is what is sufficient for us and we need to really look to His grace in dealing with the many challenges and trials that come in life, especially in dating relationships (or the lack thereof). Just as the apostle Paul found comfort in the grace of God alone when faced with the thorns in his life, so must we lay our lives in the hands of our gracious God in facing the rough and tumble world of dating relationships.
Sola Fide - Faith alone
Trusting in the Lord is vital as we cannot afford to try and manipulate things by our own wisdom or power. When things don't work out the way we hope for, faith in our good God who makes all things work together for good is something that will never fail us.
Solus Christus - Christ alone
Just as Christ alone is the way to salvation, Christ alone must be our first love. He cannot be challenged for the supremacy of our affections. Christ alone must be Lord. Christ must be the one that we submit our lives to and there can be no other challenge to His primacy. When we get involved in dating relationships, it is easy to let our dating partner take over our every waking thought and take the place of Christ in our affections. This is such a dangerous place to go - so don't go there.
Soli Deo Gloria - God's glory alone
Just as every part of our lives is to be to God's glory, even our eating and drinking, how we approach dating relationships must be considered with God's glory being at stake. We cannot afford to let any part, no matter how minor or mundane escape this point. Too many people want to carve out portions of their life for their own glory and fulfillment, even at the expense of bringing dishonor to God's name.
Remember what Jesus said about what you build your house on. You can build your house on the rock of His words, His truth, and when the storms come, your house will stand firm because your foundation is firm. But if you build your house on the sand of worldly opinion and empty deception, you will get slammed hard by the storms of reality and great will be your fall.
Inspect your foundations now - you might find it rotting with hardly anything to hold up your life. Replace it with the sure foundation of the solid rock of Christ and His truth - you will not regret it.
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
DTR2 Is Coming!!
This Sunday, we will start the long-awaited DTR2 series. It will build on the messages that were done a few years ago (DTR1, which you can hear online from our audio section at http://www.lighthousebc.com/) which built a foundation of thought to consider for dating relationships. We will continue to work on building that foundation but will take some time also to directly confront and deconstruct the worldly maze that has blinded many a Christian with the kind of junk that keeps the Word of God from being seen clearly. We will then hopefully build a strategy that will reflect a Biblical worldview toward developing God-honoring relationships that will culminate in God-honoring marriages. We will also talk about how to deal with breaking up in a way that honors God and the other party. There will be a 5 part series to start everything off (Oct. 7 through Nov. 4) and then we will resume in January 2008 as there will be a lot going on during the holiday season. So keep in tune with the updates...
I know that some might think that doing a series like this is just a ploy to get people to come to church. This simply is not true. If anything, I would guess that some of the things that I will say will repel people from the church because they will not want to deal with the truth. This is not just about playing around with some fun topic - it actually is a very serious one because people's lives are at stake as they head down the road to marriage and the foundations that many people have are so shaky that it is only a matter of time before the relationships they start begin to crumble.
One thing that those of you who are single and who want to date must consider is this - are you really willing to consider what is at stake for the future? Or is your goal simply to fulfill some fantasy? As I watch marriages get destroyed and families get torn about, the place to start dealing with this isn't when the problems arise, it is to proactively build a foundation that is built on the rock solid truth of God's Word, cemented with the conviction of the Holy Spirit, and sustained with the weatherproofing of God's grace that is sufficient to face any challenge. In this way, you cannot go wrong. But if your foundation is build on worldly wisdom, cemented with the emotional fragility of your passions, there is nothing that will sustain you for the long haul.
I will plead with you before you come this Sunday evening - pray that you come with a teachable heart because your future depends on it!!
See you this Sunday, if you still dare to come =)
I know that some might think that doing a series like this is just a ploy to get people to come to church. This simply is not true. If anything, I would guess that some of the things that I will say will repel people from the church because they will not want to deal with the truth. This is not just about playing around with some fun topic - it actually is a very serious one because people's lives are at stake as they head down the road to marriage and the foundations that many people have are so shaky that it is only a matter of time before the relationships they start begin to crumble.
One thing that those of you who are single and who want to date must consider is this - are you really willing to consider what is at stake for the future? Or is your goal simply to fulfill some fantasy? As I watch marriages get destroyed and families get torn about, the place to start dealing with this isn't when the problems arise, it is to proactively build a foundation that is built on the rock solid truth of God's Word, cemented with the conviction of the Holy Spirit, and sustained with the weatherproofing of God's grace that is sufficient to face any challenge. In this way, you cannot go wrong. But if your foundation is build on worldly wisdom, cemented with the emotional fragility of your passions, there is nothing that will sustain you for the long haul.
I will plead with you before you come this Sunday evening - pray that you come with a teachable heart because your future depends on it!!
See you this Sunday, if you still dare to come =)
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
A Month of "Life Is Not About You"
As we finished up our series this past month on "Life Is Not About You", I just couldn't help be think that a month long series was not enough. It's almost like we kind of get convicted at times about different truth principles for a short time, but then it fades as we go back to our normal status quo kind of mentality and we live the same self-absorbed lives that we are used to living. I think that it just gets too difficult to go against the flow of the broad path that the majority go that we end up just going back downstream when the battle to go upstream just gets too tiring.
To live the life of the cross is an exercise of perseverance and even pain, for it is a call to self-denial and an embracing of a life of inconvenience, discomfort, and suffering. It is not always so direct - it comes in subtle ways. But a minute or two here, a moment spent for myself doing something for my own pleasure can lead to an hour, a day, and then the pattern gets set in a rut which we struggle yet again to get out of.
We cannot afford to live the life of a Christian in a stop and go fashion. The days of the summer retreat spiritual high can't be the kind of cycle that we go through. It is a long, hard road of incremental pursuit, it is a submitting of every part of life, even in my eating and drinking, and to take my eyes off myself and consider how I might honor my Master.
This Sunday we will go through our MVP (we haven't done this in awhile) so I hope that you will come prepared, not just for a reminder, but for a challenge to live out what we have committed ourselves to fulfill:
The Mission: To make disciples of Christ (Matthew 28:19-20)
The Vision: To plan churches (Acts 1:8)
The Passion: To love God and people (Matthew 22:37-40)
Are you a part of the team? Are you in this for the long haul? I hope so. These are exciting days and as we look forward to God's leading, let's stop wasting time pursuing the "skubalon" of the world (check Philippians 3:7-8) and pursue knowing Christ and making Him known.
See you all Sunday!!
To live the life of the cross is an exercise of perseverance and even pain, for it is a call to self-denial and an embracing of a life of inconvenience, discomfort, and suffering. It is not always so direct - it comes in subtle ways. But a minute or two here, a moment spent for myself doing something for my own pleasure can lead to an hour, a day, and then the pattern gets set in a rut which we struggle yet again to get out of.
We cannot afford to live the life of a Christian in a stop and go fashion. The days of the summer retreat spiritual high can't be the kind of cycle that we go through. It is a long, hard road of incremental pursuit, it is a submitting of every part of life, even in my eating and drinking, and to take my eyes off myself and consider how I might honor my Master.
This Sunday we will go through our MVP (we haven't done this in awhile) so I hope that you will come prepared, not just for a reminder, but for a challenge to live out what we have committed ourselves to fulfill:
The Mission: To make disciples of Christ (Matthew 28:19-20)
The Vision: To plan churches (Acts 1:8)
The Passion: To love God and people (Matthew 22:37-40)
Are you a part of the team? Are you in this for the long haul? I hope so. These are exciting days and as we look forward to God's leading, let's stop wasting time pursuing the "skubalon" of the world (check Philippians 3:7-8) and pursue knowing Christ and making Him known.
See you all Sunday!!
Caring for Members through Church Discipline
When the church came together on Sunday evening for our members meeting, it was amazing to look around and see how much the congregation has grown these past nine years. This meeting came just after the membership class where seventeen more individuals were being taught about being committed to the church. What an encouraging evening it was, especially when the microphone was passed and various people shared about how the church had been a blessing to them. Each time we gather together, I am more and more appreciative of our church family. God certainly has blessed us tremendously with wonderful relationships and a body of believers that strives to grow together in His Word.
At the membership class, as I was teaching about the importance of membership, I was once again reminded of the many churches that do not place an emphasis on church membership. I understand and completely support the idea of the autonomy of the local church, but I must say that it causes a bit of concern when I hear that a church does not have formal membership especially because this means that these churches most likely do not practice church discipline either.
One of the participants in the membership class shared that it was the fact that LBC practiced church discipline that kept her at Lighthouse. This may have been a shocking statement to me years ago, but today it is no surprise. Not only is the practice of church discipline prescribed for churches in Matthew 18, it helps preserve the holiness of individuals (which in turn helps preserve the holiness of the church). I often tell believers, if you are serious about maintaining personal holiness, you must go to a church that practices church discipline. It is no wonder that John MacArthur often attributes the enormous success of Grace Community Church to the fact that they practice church discipline. He once stated (and I'm paraphrasing), "By kicking people out of the church, you help the church to grow."
Of course, it's not that LBC gets a kick out of excommunicating members. It is actually the most painful and draining ministry for the elders. So why do we go through the trouble if it is so difficult? Here are some reasons:
1. Church discipline upholds the glory of God in His church. The glory of God is the chief motivation for any ministry at LBC. If the church allows sin to go unaddressed in the church, it defames the name of Christ since He is the head of the church. By practicing church discipline, God's glory is magnified because His saints are dedicated to preserving His name.
2. Church discipline protects the holiness of the church. One of the most practical reasons for church discipline is to show the members that there are consequences to habitual, unrepentant sin. When members know that the church will confront them if they are unwilling to repent, it gives them additional motivation to make things right with God and others. It provides a level of accountability that cannot be provided in any other institution.
3. Church discipline is a ministry of care to the members of the church. It would be entirely unloving to see a brother or sister in sin and not do anything about it. This is one of the reasons why we refer to the discipline process as "member care" at LBC. This was an idea that was first introduced to us through the ministry of Mark Dever at Capitol Hill Baptist. When a member falls into unrepentant sin, the church lovingly is to appeal to that member to repent and return to good standing with God and the church. Through church discipline, the member can see how serious his actions are to God.
4. Church discipline serves as a witness to unbelievers that the church stands for holiness. When an individual's name is announced to the congregation as having gone through the disciplinary process, it provides a great opportunity to preach the gospel and to explain to people the reason for practicing church discipline. In doing so, even unbelievers can get a sense that the church has been called to be holy as God is holy. What a lame testimony it would be for a church to preach the gospel and yet be full of members who allow unrepentant sin to defile their lives.
5. The Bible tells us to practice church discipline. If for no other reason, this should be motivation enough for any church. Since the Bible gives us set principles in Matthew 18 about this process and we see the outworking of these principles in the epistles, churches should seek to be obedient to God's will and practice church discipline.
I'm sure there are many more good reasons to practice church discipline. It is a sign of a healthy church that it maintains formal membership and practices church discipline. I just don't see how the leaders of a church can adequately care for their flock without membership, and I really feel it is an obedience issue to practice church discipline.
At the membership class, as I was teaching about the importance of membership, I was once again reminded of the many churches that do not place an emphasis on church membership. I understand and completely support the idea of the autonomy of the local church, but I must say that it causes a bit of concern when I hear that a church does not have formal membership especially because this means that these churches most likely do not practice church discipline either.
One of the participants in the membership class shared that it was the fact that LBC practiced church discipline that kept her at Lighthouse. This may have been a shocking statement to me years ago, but today it is no surprise. Not only is the practice of church discipline prescribed for churches in Matthew 18, it helps preserve the holiness of individuals (which in turn helps preserve the holiness of the church). I often tell believers, if you are serious about maintaining personal holiness, you must go to a church that practices church discipline. It is no wonder that John MacArthur often attributes the enormous success of Grace Community Church to the fact that they practice church discipline. He once stated (and I'm paraphrasing), "By kicking people out of the church, you help the church to grow."
Of course, it's not that LBC gets a kick out of excommunicating members. It is actually the most painful and draining ministry for the elders. So why do we go through the trouble if it is so difficult? Here are some reasons:
1. Church discipline upholds the glory of God in His church. The glory of God is the chief motivation for any ministry at LBC. If the church allows sin to go unaddressed in the church, it defames the name of Christ since He is the head of the church. By practicing church discipline, God's glory is magnified because His saints are dedicated to preserving His name.
2. Church discipline protects the holiness of the church. One of the most practical reasons for church discipline is to show the members that there are consequences to habitual, unrepentant sin. When members know that the church will confront them if they are unwilling to repent, it gives them additional motivation to make things right with God and others. It provides a level of accountability that cannot be provided in any other institution.
3. Church discipline is a ministry of care to the members of the church. It would be entirely unloving to see a brother or sister in sin and not do anything about it. This is one of the reasons why we refer to the discipline process as "member care" at LBC. This was an idea that was first introduced to us through the ministry of Mark Dever at Capitol Hill Baptist. When a member falls into unrepentant sin, the church lovingly is to appeal to that member to repent and return to good standing with God and the church. Through church discipline, the member can see how serious his actions are to God.
4. Church discipline serves as a witness to unbelievers that the church stands for holiness. When an individual's name is announced to the congregation as having gone through the disciplinary process, it provides a great opportunity to preach the gospel and to explain to people the reason for practicing church discipline. In doing so, even unbelievers can get a sense that the church has been called to be holy as God is holy. What a lame testimony it would be for a church to preach the gospel and yet be full of members who allow unrepentant sin to defile their lives.
5. The Bible tells us to practice church discipline. If for no other reason, this should be motivation enough for any church. Since the Bible gives us set principles in Matthew 18 about this process and we see the outworking of these principles in the epistles, churches should seek to be obedient to God's will and practice church discipline.
I'm sure there are many more good reasons to practice church discipline. It is a sign of a healthy church that it maintains formal membership and practices church discipline. I just don't see how the leaders of a church can adequately care for their flock without membership, and I really feel it is an obedience issue to practice church discipline.
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